Page 87 of Perfect Mess

I’ve always had an eye for design, since I was a little girl. My teacher featured my dinosaur themed decoupage during Parents’ Night in kindergarten. When I was in middle school, my Animal Farm diorama won first prize in the county art show. Colors. Patterns. Textures. If something in a room was missing, I knew exactly what it would take to complete it. If someone needed help to pick out a new color, I could find the perfect match to suit their tastes. No one ever taught me. It just came to me. Instinctively. I could see it all in my mind.

When I looked again at the center of the rose, it all clicked. Gary was right. The darker red would complement the slate grey perfectly. Maybe a few accent pieces could play off the green of the vines.

When I pulled away to face him, Gary’s hands slipped from my shoulders. I was surprised how quickly I’d gotten used to the feel of them on me and as soon as they weren’t, it felt like a part of my body was missing.

“What do you think?”

I took a deep breath to settle my pounding heart. “I think … you might be right.”

“Maybe we can talk more over dinner?”

“Dinner?”

“The Ossu Buco,” Gary reminded me. “You were going to wow us with your cooking skills. How’s it going, by the way?” We both glanced at the oven, which was clearly lifeless, dead, and empty.Like my soul.

“Well, I got as far as looking up a recipe,” I said. “And I found two of the seventy-five spices it requires in my pantry. Speaking of which, do you know what marjoram is? I mean, does anyonereallyknow what marjoram is? Does it actually exist or do the people who write these recipes just like to mess with our heads? And what about bay leaves? Is that like a leaf that somebody pulled out of an actual bay? And don’t get me started on rosemary.”

“Um, I didn’t?”

“Who likes rosemary? Nobody likes rosemary. Rosemary is disgusting. That guy who wroteRosemary’s Babyprobably named the mother Rosemary because the herb rosemary is the spawn of Satan.”

I was spiraling. I needed to stop spiraling. I wanted to stop spiraling. But I was so far gone I didn’t think I could. When I looked back up at him, Gary had that deer in the headlights look. I had that driving a jacked up four-wheel-drive pickup truck with a shotgun rack in the back, foot heavy on the gas pedal look.

“Mary, it’s okay. Just take a breath.” Gary put his hands up, like a police negotiator talking to someone on the ledge of a tall building. “Did you cook anything yet?”

I dropped my head in shame. “No.”

Gary surprised me when he said, “Good. Honestly, the thought of eating baby cows grosses me out. And Kyle’s favorite foods are chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese. It’s a low bar to impress him.”

“Who said I was trying to impresshim?” I said.

“If not Kyle, then who were you trying to impress?” Gary asked, a twinkle in his eye.

“Well, certainly notyou,” I answered. “I’ve already done that with my hiking and baseball skills.”

“Don’t forget your cat rearing skills,” Gary added.

“Oh yeah, that’s at the top of the list for sure.”

To punctuate the point, Purrfect scrambled across the kitchen floor, Kyle in hot pursuit. Purrfect paused just long enough to flick me off with one paw, then raced into the dining room. From the dining room, we heard a crash. Then a high-pitched meow. Then the sound of breaking glass.

Taking pity on me, Gary said, “Why don’t you go deal with whatever just happened out there, while I look in the fridge to see what I can muster up for us to eat.”

“No way,” I said. “I invited you here. I should be the one cooking.”

“Mary.” The way he said my name felt like he wrapped me in a blanket, all soft, warm and cozy. “It’s fine, really. I like cooking. Do you have any chicken?”

I nodded.

“How about tomatoes?”

“Yeah. I think so.” Luckily for me, I had put in a grocery order the prior day. I had a bunch of food delivered so I wouldn’t have to go out shopping and stay focused on the remodel. For the first time in my entire life, I actually had a well-stocked refrigerator.

“Maybe if you play your cards right, I’ll show you how to make grandma’s homemade sauce. Just never tell her because then she’d have to kill you.” Gary thought about it some more. “And then kill me.”

ChapterTwenty

When I returned to the kitchen, I discovered Gary had been hard at work. He found chicken and cheese and tomatoes and bread crumbs.Chicken Parmesan!He had the ingredients laid out on the counter, like a celebrity chef in front of a studio audience. I set up Kyle in the other room watching television. Purrfect sat on top of the refrigerator, silently criticizing everything Gary did.

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