Page 76 of Perfect Mess

My dad loved serious movies. Films, as he called them. I think he thought if he made me watch enough of them, his appreciation would rub off. It didn’t. One day we went to seeChariots of Fire. It’s a movie about two guys who ran on the beach a lot. And then, against all odds, they win a gold medal at the Olympics or something. I think it won a bunch of Academy awards.

Anyway, my dad loved it. Maybe because it was so freaking long, he had enough time to drink three glasses of Chardonnay. I, on the other hand, was bored out of my mind. I couldn’t have told you any of the details about the movie five minutes after we got out of the theatre. The whole thing went in one side of my brain and right out the other.

Except for the music. The music I remembered. The music I never forgot. There was a scene where the two dudes were running along the beach. In slow motion. Not that they were actually running slowly. I mean, the special effects made it seem that way.

As they were running and jumping along the edge of the water, the music was playing in the background. Legs pumping through the sand. Feet splashing in the water. The music was timed perfectly with every step. Cymbals crashed at the end when they raised their hands in triumph.

That same music started playing in my head as I lined up with the other runners.

Buuum Baaah. Buuum Baaahhhhhh

The synthesizer started thrumming a slow steady beat.

Tap tappa tap tap. Tap tappa tap tap

The snare drum tap danced in rhythm, pushing the pace.

Doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo

Then came the piano. Plucking the melody like it was tiptoeing through a field of tulips, hop scotching up and down the scale.

The memories of the music fueled me. Inspired me. Like those runners in that film, I too could rise up and overcome the hurdles life threw at me. Stick my middle finger in the face of fate. Poke the Universe in the eye and emerge victorious. I was invincible, as long as I had a dramatic soundtrack playing behind me.

A race official wielding a megaphone and fondling an air horn positioned himself about twenty yards from the line.

Jack crouched beside me, back arched like a jungle cat. His leg muscles were as taut as steel beams. The man was a god among men. No wonder Kelsey was shaking her ass and wagging her tits in the sponsor tent. No wonder Ashley Griffin and her thugs crawled out of their holes to volunteer. No wonder Janet had been smitten with Jack. And I was determined to smite her smit.

Uninvited, an image of Gary popped into my head. Staring after me. Standing there in his purple bib. Like a lost little puppy left out in the rain. I felt guilty for not turning around and going back to explain it to him. Tell him it was nothing personal, just part of the bigger plan.

I looked back up to find Jack smiling at me. He gave me a thumbs up. “Good luck Mary.”

“Yeah,” I said. “You too.”

“One minute runners! One minute!” The guy with the megaphone raised his air horn, thumb poised on the trigger.

The race was about to begin.

I stuffed all that guilt and doubt back down into the pit of my stomach. I had made the right choice. Gary was a big boy. He could take care of himself. And if he couldn’t? Well, it sounded like Karen was more than willing to help him out.

“Thirty seconds!” the race official slurred through the bullhorn, his voice mangled by the third rate amplification. He probably found the bullhorn on a clearance rack at Big Lots.

I knew I would never win that race. The other runners were younger, stronger, and probably didn’t have brand new running shoes that were already giving them blisters.

But I didn’t have to win. All I had to do was finish. Even if I had to crawl across that finish line on bruised, bloodied stumps. If I could finish, Jack would notice. If I finished, no,whenI finished, Jack would be impressed.

“On your mark,” squealed the bullhorn.

As the runners jostled for position at the starting line, the rest of the world fell silent. Like the scene in the movie, everyone moved in slow motion. Toes sliding up to the white chalk line. Bodies leaning forward. Every nerve in my body was tingling, ready to leap into action. Every one of my senses was on high alert.

“Get set!”

The image of Jack’s face when he saw me wearing the green bib came to mind. It was a look of wonder. It was a look of respect. Jack must have seen something in me he had never seen before. For the first time, Jack had seen a glimpse of who I really was. A woman who was determined. A woman who was brave. A woman who was strong. Perhaps the ‘Queen of the Geeks’ from high school was not so geeky after all.

All I had to do was finish.

All I had to do was finish.

All I had to do was finish.

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