Page 112 of Perfect Mess

“So when’s the wedding?” Ralph asked.

“As soon as possible,” Dick answered. “We’re old. Time’s a wasting. We could drop dead any minute.” Dick chugged the rest of his beer and signaled a waitress for another.

“The problem,” explained Mabel, “is that all the venues are booked. It’s impossible to find anything last minute.”

Jack said, “I know a place.”

We all shifted our gaze simultaneously.

“The ranch.”

Blink

“The reunion place.”

Blink

“Where Mary got run over by the cows.” The trauma of being physically assaulted by a herd of cattle remained fresh in my psyche. I still had nightmares, waking up drenched in sweat, the smell of cow lingering on my skin.

“That place would be perfect,” Ralph agreed. Apparently, he had no concern whatsoever about returning to the scene of my humiliation.

“I have a friend who’s friends with the person on the reunion committee who booked it. If you want, I could call her?” Jack offered.

“Would you? That would be amazing.” Mabel grabbed Jack and gave him a big hug. A big long hug. I mean a really big, really long hug.

Gently prying himself loose, Jack asked, “When would you want to do it?”

“We’re flexible,” gushed Mabel.

“And old,” Dick added.

“As soon as possible,” Mabel said.

“Old.” Dick tapped his watch, then feigned death by tilting his head, closing his eyes, and sticking his tongue out. Then he downed at least half of the new beer the waitress handed him in one long slurp.

Jack pulled his phone from his pocket. “Then I guess I better call Ashley right away.”

“Ashley?” asked Janet.

“Yeah,” said Jack.

“Ashley Griffin?”

Jack nodded.

“You have Ashley Griffin’s number saved on your phone?” Janet frowned.

Jack shrugged. “She’s an old friend.”

Before Janet could press further, Jack headed off to make the call. When Mabel and Dick moved on to socialize with the next table, Ralph put his arm around Janet’s shoulders and pulled her in close. “Everything okay?”

It took Janet a moment to pull her eyes away from the door. “With me and Jack? Things are going great. I mean, they’re good. Everything’s fine.”

“You went from great to good to fine in the span of two seconds.”

We all waited until Janet felt compelled to elaborate. “I mean, we have our differences, of course. Just like any two people do.”

“What differences?” I asked, doing my best to sound supportive.

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