Page 41 of Perfect Mess

mary burns

the greige lady

I mean walls

not me

i’m not greige

just my walls

actually just looked in the bathroom mirror

fluorescent lighting

I actually am greige

in my defense have not slept

and way 2 much bears

not bears

no bears here

I looked for a bear emoji to include but couldn’t find one. I found the beer glass emoji however and used it generously.

beers

2 much beers

way way

I added more beer glass emojis for good measure. Then I found the bear one after all and added a bunch of those too.

Purrfect had been waiting up for me when I got home, wearing a look of disapproval that would have made a Catholic nun proud. She looked even more disappointed in me when I didn’t go straight to bed, or at least open up a can of tuna. She settled for a good ear scratching, though.

As I ran my fingers through her fur, the screen on my phone lit up, three dots pulsing beneath my last message. Gary was typing a response. Then he wasn’t. The three dots disappeared. Then they came back. Then they disappeared again. This went on for about ten more minutes.

I figured he was probably debating on whether he should just block me or report me to the texting authorities as unauthorized spam. Then, finally, Gary’s message came through.

NEW PAINTER:

no

No? I had totally forgotten what my original question was that he responded “no” to.

MARY:

no what?

NEW PAINTER:

no I’m not up

u asked if I was up

I am saying no I am not

---