Page 4 of Perfect Mess

Blink.

“Cristy Carson.”

Blink.

“We sat next to each other in Culinary.”

Blink.

I still had no clue who Cristy Carson was. But I didn’t want to disappoint her, so I pretended to play along. “Oh, right, Cristy? Cristy Carson.” I even raised my voice a couple of octaves to make it sound more authentic.

This kind of thing actually happened quite a bit. Even though I did everything in my power to brainwash high school from my memory, most of the people in town looked back on those days with fond remembrance. And since 99.9% of our small town senior class still lived in the area, it wasn’t uncommon to run into each other now and then.

“Oh, and there’s Janet! I should have guessed you two were still inseparable. Two peas in a pod, you two.” Janet and Cristy got their hug on, then Cristy added Janet’s pictures to the wall right beside mine. At least Janet had time to shield her eyes.

“What about me?” Ralph asked, striking a pose.

Cristy frowned. “I’m sorry. Who are you again?”

“Ralph,” he answered.

Blink.

“Ralph Stein.”

Blink.

“The Jewish goth kid everyone pelted with dodge balls.”

“Oh yes! Ralph Stein! You look less …” Cristy searched for the right word. “Pale. And sickly.” Cristy pretended to smile, but not very well. Then she snapped his picture. “Now don’t forget your hats.” Cristy passed out large styrofoam cowboy hats from a nearby table.

“We get hats?” Janet’s mood seemed to brighten.

“Yee ha!” Ralph slipped his hat on right away.

“Oh, no.” I waved Cristy off. “I’m not wearing that.”

“Oh yes, you are.” Janet stuffed the hat on my head. Not gently. “This was all your idea. If I have to be here, you’re wearing the hat.”

“I look ridiculous.” I yanked the hat off, my head already itching.

Cristy butted in. “Don’t worry about how you look, Mary, live a little. Who knows, you might have some fun.” My memory of Cristy returned. She had been on the Activities Committee, the student club that organized all the pep rallies. Cristy was one of those people who was always smiling and happy and trying to force other people to have fun.So annoying.

“Put the fucking hat on, Mary.” Janet smiled. But it was a scary smile, so I did.

Cristy resumed hugging and blinding other guests, while we took a moment to gawk at our old yearbook pictures.

I’ll be honest with you. The first thing I did was look for a picture of Jack. As my eyes scanned over the pictures, I allowed my brain a moment to process a thought. Was I scared his picture would be up there on that wall? Was I scared that it wouldn’t? After so many years, I think a part of me wanted to see Jack again just to prove to myself and everyone else that I wasn’t the same person I was before.So young. So stupid.The kind of person people like Jack played for a fool. But then, if I’m still being honest, I think another part of me was petrified. What if he did show up and did something to prove that nothing had really changed at all?

“Hard to believe that was twenty years ago.” Ralph’s voice yanked me back to reality.

Janet said, “It seems like just yesterday, but a lifetime ago, too.”

She was right. So much had changed. With Janet and Ralph, for sure. Back in high school, Janet was a late bloomer. The shy girl. Thick glasses. A face full of freckles. Now, she had a kick ass figure and her dream job working with books all day.

Ralph was a real turnaround story, too. After an ill timed booger picking incident in the sixth grade, Ralph was now a big time divorce lawyer and went to the gym five days a week. Whenever we would go to the beach, he got more head turns than Janet and I combined. Like an ugly caterpillar with an inhaler, Ralph emerged from the cocoon as an Armani suit-wearing butterfly.

“So Janet, see anything you like?” I swept my hand toward the photographs like a game show hostess revealing fabulous gifts and prizes.

---