Page 113 of Perfect Mess

“Nothing important.” Janet laughed, but stopped when she saw that no one else was laughing with her.

“Television shows,” said Gary.

“Television shows?” asked Janet.

“Someone told me once,” Gary glanced my way, “That you can judge the status of a relationship by the couple’s T.V. watching habits.”

“Like how?” Janet frowned.

“Do you watch the same things?” Gary asked.

“Well. Not exactly,” said Janet.

Taking the baton from Gary, I asked, “You don’t watch T.V. together?”

“No. It’s just, I guess we never seem to find something we both want to watch.” Janet’s face looked like she was trapped in an elevator with someone who had just eaten a family sized crock pot full of baked beans. “But that’s not a big deal. I’m sure most couples like different shows.”

Janet fixed her eyes on Karen and Ralph. “I mean, I’m sure Karen doesn’t like those old lawyer shows you’re always watching, right?” Ralph loved lawyer shows. Especially the classics like Matlock and anything with Angela Lansbury.

“Well, no, they’re not my favorite,” Karen admitted. “So we take turns. I watch one of his shows, then he watches one of mine.”

Ralph nodded, then said, “We binge watched six episodes of Doogie Howser reruns just the other night.”

“A doctor show?” Most times, Ralph refused to acknowledge that doctors even exist. Like Bigfoot.

“Actually, I kinda liked it.” Ralph gave Karen’s hand an extra squeeze.

Gary and I traded glances. We both remembered that night we made dinner. Well, we both remembered that night we burned dinner. Then, after we got out of the pool, we watched old episodes of Family Feud while Kyle slept. For some strange reason, I found myself wishing that Gary and I could just go back to Aunt Catherine’s house right then and there, curl up on the couch, and watch some more.

It seemed like Janet’s head was floating somewhere in outer space. “The other night when Jack came over, all he wanted to do was watch football. So I just sat at the kitchen table and played sudoku.”

“Well, I’m sure you two have plenty of other things in common,” said Karen. “What else do you enjoy doing together?”

I braced myself to hear something I didn’t want to hear, but Janet only shrugged. “To be honest, Jack is so busy at work we hardly do anything at all. We went to the movies last weekend, but it was one of those super hero ones where everyone just runs around in tights and blows things up.”

Karen and I both wrinkled our noses. “Yuck.”

“We’ve been out to eat a couple of times, but Jack always wants to get sushi.”

“You’re vegan,” I pointed out.

“Exactly.” Janet pressed her fingers into her temples.

Karen leaned in from across the table, dropping her voice low. “I hate to be blunt here, Janet, but what exactly do you see in that guy? Ralph told me about what a jerk he was in high school.”

The entire table fell silent, beer mugs frozen mid-sip. We watched as Janet’s gaze drifted across the crowded brewery. There, leaning against the exposed brick wall like a GQ model who’d wandered off set, was Jack, still deep in conversation on his phone. Ashley Griffin must have said something amusing because Jack smiled, his perfect white teeth lighting up the entire room. His rolled-up sleeves were fighting a losing battle against those unfairly generous biceps, and the way he ran his fingers through his perfectly tousled hair should have been illegal. A waitress carrying a tray of beer flights nearly walked into a potted palm, her head swiveling owl-like to steal another glance when Jack wasn’t looking.

Janet, Karen, and I all sighed in synchronized harmony.

“Okay, fine. He’s not horrible to look at, I suppose.” Ralph made a face, but Karen was still too busy staring at Jack to notice.

Eyes stilled glued to Jack, Janet said, “I guess I just never thought someone like that would be interested in someone like me.”I could certainly relate.

We all sat silently for a few moments, sipping our beers. While Janet seemed lost in thought, Gary caught my eye. I could tell he was plotting something.

“I’ll be right back,” Gary said, excusing himself.

What are you doing?I mouthed silently.

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