Page 59 of Winter Glam in Amsterdam

"Here," he says, just as I whirl around to, I don't even know, kick him in the shin, punch his dick, or slap him, I don’t know. Truth be told, I could go for all three of those right now. But I don't even see him because he's holding a really big bouquet right in my face.

"What the…?" I furrow my eyebrows as I look at it, shocked. Then angry. "Fuck you, Tanner. I don't want your damn flowers."

"Well, too bad, because I'm leaving them here anyways." He puts them on the table when I make no effort to take them from him. "I just wanted to explain myself."

"Well, I don't want to hear it," I say and cross my arms in front of my chest. "Leave."

"I'll leave once you've listened to me."

His hands are in his pockets now, and he looks at the ground, not able to meet my eyes. I’m so angry, he might just implode if he does.

"I got a call from Adam in the middle of the night. He got a message from Zoey saying she was in the hospital and about to go into surgery.” He takes a deep breath. “All of us were panicking, but thankfully it was a false alarm. I'm sorry, Summer. I shouldn't have left you like that without a message. I promise I wasn't lying to you when I said I wanted more."

"Tanner, let me make this clear, I don’t give a fuck. If I woke up, you were gone, and then sent me a message two hours later, that would have been perfectly acceptable. I wouldn’t have been thrilled, but I could have worked with that." I force myself to remain calm, taking deep breaths, counting as I inhale and exhale.

"We're talking about a whole fucking day," I point out, stomping closer to him and forcefully poking him in the chest with my index finger. "Twenty-fucking-four hours, where you not only couldn't be bothered to leave a message of your own accord, but you ignoredallof the ones I sent you as well. No reaction whatsoever, you’re telling me you were too busy for a double-tap?"

I continued to poke my finger into his sternum, making him take a few tentative steps back.

"You don't get to tell me you want more. You leave me without one fucking trace overnight, no message nothing. And don’t put that on your sister fucking up her communication. Let's say it took you fourteen hours to the hospital and that's really fucking generous, what's with the remaining ten hours, huh?"

"It was a family emergency," he says, lifting his arms in a defensive gesture.

"Well, did you break your hand?" He shakes his head. “Had your fingers cut off? Did someone steal your phone?” He continues to shake his head, and a cruel laugh falls from my lips.

“Listen, I’m glad your sister is alright, but my issue has nothing to do with your family emergency, but everything with the fact you did not even think of me, not even for the sliver of a second it takes to send a goddamn reaction to a message. And you have a smart head on your shoulders, Tanner. You knew what it would look like if I woke up to you gone.

“And you still didn’t message me once everything was resolved. Now, why wouldIwant more with someone who regards me that little?”

Emotions are starting to pop to the surface, and I bite the inside of my cheeks in an attempt to keep them at bay, but they grow stronger with each word falling from my lips.

"You're seriously trying to tell me you didn't have 10 seconds to shoot me a fucking thumbs-up emoji, to send a goddamn reaction to any of the messages I sent? Ten seconds to push down a button on your screen and leave a three-word-voice-message?"

Tanner mumbles to himself.

"If you have something to say, at least speak up." But he doesn’t. Instead, he looks at me with eyes reflecting my pain and I take a deep breath.

"Listen, Tanner, your family comes first and that’s understandable and admirable, but this,” I point between the two of us, “is not happening anymore. And quite frankly, I don't really want to look at your face, so why don't you do me a favor and leave me the hell alone?"

"Because I don't want to," he says, grabbing my wrist and forcing my arm down.

"I like you, Summer. I really, really do. And if you can forgive me, I would love to take you on a date, get to know you better, and be the kind of boyfriend you deserve."

"Why, Tanner, you know the thing is…" I wrestled my wrist from his grip. "If you actually liked me, this whole thing wouldn't have happened. Because if you ‘really, really’ liked me, you wouldn’t want me to hurt, thinking you only used me for another night of sex. Do you have any idea how disgusting that feels?" I blink away the tears that are gathering in my eyes.

"So no, Tanner, I don't buy that you like me. And you know what? After the little stunt you pulled, I don't like you either." His face falls, and he instinctively takes a step back.

"So thanks for Amsterdam. It was fun while it lasted. Have the life you deserve."

And with that, I give him a slight push, making him take another step back, and quickly close the door in his face.

"Fuck." I lean my back against it and slowly let myself slide to the ground, hugging my knees to my chest and burying my face in my jeans.

"Fuck."

I'd been good at pushing everything down, so sure I would never see Tanner again. But the worst? Speaking my mind didn’t even feel cathartic. No, it just feels like all the energy has been sucked from my body.

"Fuck," I mutter again. This surprise encounter is taking me for a spin. A lot of what I said might have been out of shock or anger, but I meant every word I said.

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