Page 38 of Summer Haze & Tokyo Craze

Adam: Why the hell are you still awake?

I type out quickly, frowning. I quickly research the time difference, shaking my head when I realize it’s the middle of the night for him.

Adam: Isn't it like 3 a.m. in London?

Jackson: It is, Sherlock. And yes, it hasn’t combusted, but I’m sure you’d have seen that one the news.

I clench my jaw, exhaling a deep sigh at his dry answer. Jackson is the oldest of my brothers and also the one who took losing our parents the hardest. The way his grief manifested – and it still does – is his belief that I’m doing everything wrong. In his head, our parents were perfect, and I had to make peace with the fact that I would never be able to compete with this fantasy he made up in his head.

The football game back then managed to take a bit of edge off. Someone had the bright idea to put us on different teams and he had a grand old time tackling and blocking me.

But I feel it slip again. Be it a quip during our gaming nights or dry messages like these. And I’m running out of ideas how to salvage it and out of strength to tolerate it.

Adam: What'sup?

I put the phone on the table screen down and lean my chin on my hand. Is Jackson really the right person to talk about this? Maybe I should ask Eve for her opinion instead. My phone buzzes and I quickly lift it off the table, putting it on complete silent before I open Jackson’s message.

Jackson: I should be the one asking. You never message to check in. What's up with you?

Should I?

He’s my brother. Literally the person I’ve known the longest in this world. If I can’t talk to him, then to who?

Adam: Distraction.

Lily is asking the presenter a question, and I can't help but look up, sending the message before I’ve ended it.

I am so fucking tuned into her, it’s not even funny anymore. When she speaks, I listen. When she moves, I’m watching. Like a goddamn stalker, until the soft buzzing in my hands makes me divert my attention to my phone again.

Jackson: You can’t just message me that cryptic shit. Distraction from what? Who?

Suddenly, Eve snatches the phone out of my hands. Before I can even react, she’s typed out a message and sent it, even adding an emoji to it.

Which I would never do, just for the record.

Adam: Lily <3

As I try to get my phone back, she quickly opens the camera and angles the phone to me without lifting it from the table, taking a selfie showing the two of us.

It's a hilariously unflattering picture of her. She has a double-chin from that angle and I think she’s pulling a grimace on purpose, but at least now Jackson knows that it wasn’t me who wrote that.

Jackson: I knew it!

Adam: No, you did not.

Finally, I manage to snatch my phone back and promptly hold it our of reach for Eve who is trying to snatch it right back. Shaking my head at her, I mouth, "Not a chance," and motion for her to pay attention to the lecture instead of me.

Jackson: I so did. You. Me. Call. In five hours, because I need to catch some sleep.

I don't even answer, knowing fully well he’s going to call. And he’s going to call until I pick up. At this point, there’s no getting out of this conversation.

Good thing that works right with my schedule before Lily and I are supposed to get ready for our second afternoon together.

Five hours later, on the dot, my phone rings and I watch it for a few seconds, impending doom washing over me. I’m not sure if I’m happy to get an outside perspective or frustrated that I didn’t think it through and turned to Jackson. Reed might be the second youngest but emotionally? That guy is one hell of a lot more mature than me.

"So, Lily," Jackson says without even greeting me and I can hear the teasing tone in his voice.

"I will neither confirm nor deny," I tell him and clear my throat when it comes out in a croak.

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