Page 87 of Siren's Game

"Respectfully, fuck you. Please be honest with me now or I'll really be angry." I shut up immediately at the hurt in her voice. "Because I hate to see you hurting and I don't want Asher to hurt either. He might be annoying, but overall, he's a good dude and you know it. So tell me. You said you two did some not so fake things. Was it like with Josh? Scratching an itch?"

I grimace when she brings up Josh and shake my head vehemently, without even thinking about it. "No, it wasn't like with Josh."

"Was it better?" She wriggles her eyebrows, then giggles when I narrow my eyes at her. "I'm just kidding." She suddenly turns serious again. Just how much did she have to drink at the dinner? "Seriously though. Do you like him?"

I roll the words over in my head and, for once, really pay attention. I’ve noticed the butterflies when I think about him.

What I didn’t notice until now is the warmth surrounding my heart. The lightness in my stomach when I think of him. The way it tugs at the corners of my lips without conscious thought.

"Yes, I like him," I admit, my throat hurting as I speak past the emotion sitting in my esophagus like a piece of meat I didn't chew properly.

"Do you more than like him? Does he make your heart flutter when he’s close, make you blush, and you can't stop thinking about him all the time?"

Warmth rushes to my cheeks and I nod, directing my eyes anywhere but her.

"And you don't want to date for real because . . . why?"

I take a moment to think about her question and shake my head. "It doesn’t matter, Millie, because he doesn't even like me like that."

"Well, he told me something different, so give me your next argument."

My eyes shoot to her. What?

"What did he tell you?" I ask her, eyes wide in shock, but she shakes her head.

"I'm not telling you; you’ll have to ask him yourself. Now give me your next argument. I'm sure you have one."

I take another second to think. "I'm not a family type of gal, but he's a family type of man. It wouldn’t work out."

"Oh, shut up," she all but spits with an eye roll. "You'd be a family type of gal if you'd allow yourself to be one. My parents are all but ready to adopt you if you want to, but I think you're too scared."

"I'm not scared of your family." Her parents are lovely, and I like talking to them.

"That's not what I mean." She takes a pillow and hits me with it. "You're scared that another family will cast you aside."

My blood runs cold, and I freeze at the realization.

Fuck. She's right.

"Which is, like, completely understandable, don't get me wrong, I get why you’re scared," she continues and fiddles with the bottle in her hands. "But all I'm saying is, you're also missing out. There are so many people who want to love you, but you don’t let them. I'm glad you let me be here for you and smother you in friendship-love, but maybe try to open yourself up to a few more people in your heart?"

I gulp. "But what if—"

"Then it happens. Life goes on, even if it sucks. And I dare say that all the people I have on my mind right now are not the kind of people you'd get rid of easily. I don't think you're even able to fuck up to a degree that would cause me, or Mom, or Dad to tell you to fuck off. And I think Asher feels the same."

"Do you really think that?"

"Of course." She sighs and scoots over. After a moment of hesitation, she opens her arms and I fall into them like a fucking child running to their mother after being spooked.

"It's scary," I mumble against her shoulder, and she nods. "I don't know how you do it."

"No risk, no fun." She laughs and I start to relax. "Of course it's scary. It will also never get easier. But the reward is worth it. Don't you think Asher is?"

I nod against her shoulder. Deep inside, I knew that already. But I'm a coward.

Being out of my comfort zone is not something I do.

But Asher? He might just be worth taking the leap.

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