Page 92 of Poolside

And he wasn’t going to be alone. He believed Tommy when he said he’d be there. He believed him and he trusted him andfuck,he loved him.

For the first time, it didn’t hurt to hope.

Chuck kissed his boyfriend, right there on the beach with the sun warming their skin, and let himself start to dream.

He thought about the text David had sent him yesterday. He hadn’t known then how he wanted to respond, intimidated by his friend’s request and the idea of fulfilling it alone. Pulling back just far enough to form words against Tommy’s lips, Chuck asked him a question.

“Would you do something with me tomorrow?”

* * *

Magnolia Roasters was crowded when Chuck and Tommy walked in. Tommy looked ridiculously handsome in khaki shorts and a sage green button up that stretched tight around his biceps. He’d blow-dried his hair after their shower that morning, perfecting the little flop in the front Chuck loved so much.

It only took him a moment to locate the younger man who sat tucked away in a corner booth with his hands clasped on top of the table in front of him. Once they ordered and got their drinks at the counter, Chuck led them over, offering a smile when the young man looked up, relief and recognition crossing his slender face.

“Jordan, right?”

Jordan stood, an equal match for Chuck in height, and reached his hand out. “Mr. McCormac, thank you for meeting with me,” he said, his tone and posture formal in a way that seemed at odds with his age. Although, now that he was standing, Chuck could see he was dressed nicely in starched slacks and a white Southeastern basketball polo shirt a few sizes too big for him. His bright blond hair was buzzed close to his head, and the frown on his face looked like a permanent fixture there.

Chuck shook his hand. “Please, call me Chuck.” He motioned to Tommy, who was smiling beside him. “This is my boyfriend, Tommy Littleton.”

He watched as recognition dawned on Jordan’s face, and the young man’s mouth dropped open before he quickly snapped it shut. Chuck bit back a grin, and Jordan’s cheeks went red as he shook Tommy’s offered hand.

“Sir, I mean Mr. Littleton, I mean, shit, Tommy.” Jordan laughed nervously. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Coach showed us some old game tape, and man, you were unreal on D.”

Tommy chuckled. “Hughes is complimenting me in practice? I’m going to have to give him a hard time about that.”

They all sat down, and Chuck was pleased to feel Tommy slide over on the bench seat so their thighs were pressed firmly together. Across from them, Jordan watched their every move, his hands resuming their fidgeting.

Chuck figured it was on him to start the conversation. “I’m really glad you reached out to me,” he said, bracing his elbows on the table in front of him and leaning forward. “David didn’t tell me much, but I want you to know that we’re here to listen to as much or as little as you want to share.”

Jordan’s Adam’s apple bobbed, and his golden-brown eyes flicked between them like he was searching for something.

“How has the transition been from playing to coaching?” Tommy asked.

Relief was visible on Jordan’s face as he answered the question. “A little weird at the beginning, but Coach Hughes has been great. Took a while for the guys to get used to me telling them what to do.”

Chuck nodded, thinking back to his first year as a graduate assistant coach. “I remember what that was like. I was taken off all the group texts about parties, and had to get used to sitting with the coaches on the bus. It was pretty lonely, at first.”

“Yeah. It really is.” Jordan shrugged his bony shoulders. “But I’m meeting new people and figuring it out.” His eyes darted between them again. “Can I, um, can I ask you guys something?”

“Of course,” Tommy responded.

“You guys are together?”

“Yes,” Chuck said, glancing at Tommy, only to find him watching him with a soft smile and his cheek pillowed on one of his propped-up hands. “It’s new, but?—”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Tommy interjected, resting one of his hands on Chuck’s thigh under the table.

“I’m gay,” Chuck offered, making an educated guess as to where Jordan was hoping the conversation would go. “I’ve known since high school. I wasn’t out back then, but right before I left for college I told my parents, and it didn’t go well.” Pain flashed in Jordan’s eyes and his expression tightened. Chuck continued. “I only came out to my college friends this year. I had a few good friends in the local queer community who knew, but I didn’t tell the people who have become my family until recently, because I was scared. Terrified, really, that they’d leave me.”

Jordan listened to every word intently, nodding along. When he glanced over at Tommy, the older man shrugged his wide shoulders and offered him a smile. “I only figured out I was into men this year. I was married to a woman for years, and after our divorce, I had a hard time. This guy,” he paused and nudged Chuck’s shoulder, “changed everything for me. Once I opened myself up to the possibility that I could love a man, it felt easy to accept.”

It seemed like Jordan had found what he was looking for in their answers, and his shoulders rose and fell as he took a deep breath. “My dad’s a military man,” he said quietly, his gaze fixed on the table. “An officer. He’s always been strict with me. Strict about my playing and my training, and how I dress and conduct myself. When I was younger, I told him I liked my art class, and he told me he’d beat my ass if I ever came home with any of that—” Jordan cut himself off, shaking his head. “You know what I mean. When a kid roughed me up on the playground, my dad made me box with him until I could hold my own.” He paused, and Chuck noticed his fingernails were bit down to the quick and the cuticles were torn. “I knew I liked boys, just like I knew from listening to my dad that it wasn’t right. And now I’m here, with a job coaching for the best man I’ve ever met, and I have my own apartment and a paycheck, and, um, I just…I think I could maybe come out.”

Chuck’s heart ached for Jordan, for the years of pain and damage inflicted by a family who, maybe even unknowingly, alienated their son and led him to feel like somehow he was less-than. Chuck thought of his own parents, who had never been anything but loving and supportive, up until the moment when he’d told them he was gay.

“What can we do?” Chuck asked. “How can we support you in this?”

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