Page 84 of Poolside

Again, she snorted. “It’s going to take me a while to get used to you being nice to me.”

“Buckle up, Deb. I’m a very devoted friend and a huge fan of hugs.”

“No. Absolutely not.”

They both laughed, and a little bit of the tightness and worry that had taken up residence in his chest loosened. Maybe it was the sharp cheddar that never failed to remind him of home or maybe it was reaching this point in his friendship with Deb. Whatever it was, it helped, just a little bit.

“I’m going to go,” Deb said.

“Have fun. Say hi to Mei Lin.”

“Good.”

“Great.”

The phone clicked as she hung up.

Tommy was halfway through the block of cheese when his phone buzzed.

Chuck: Are you at the house?

Tommy: Here and waiting for you, baby.

CHAPTER24

A LITTLE LESS ALONE

CHUCK

It was even worse than he’d imagined.

Chuck pulled the baggy sleeves of the hoodie Tommy had given him in the car down to cover his hands and sunk onto his couch. David sat across from him, frowning down at his phone. Knowing David, he was probably reading blog posts on how to care for someone in the depths of a depressive episode. Tommy watched him from the opposite end of the couch in sweats and one of Chuck’s t-shirts, his hair damp and messy. The distance between them felt vast, like every inch apart cemented in Chuck’s mind that a relationship between him and Tommy in the wake of this was unattainable.

He probably wanted space from him.

But he was here waiting for you, another voice in his head reminded him.

It was time for Chuck to tell him. He knew he had to.

“I have clinical depression.” Tommy’s gaze snapped to him, while David’s expression turned understanding, encouraging.No going back now. “I was diagnosed in college. I went to see a therapist and it was all fine. Um, then a few years later I started using medication to help me manage it, and it worked for a long time.”

He watched David lift his black baseball cap from his head, threading fingers through his hair before setting the hat back in place. “I thought things were going well,” he said, concern clearly written on his face. “What changed?”

“There were some side effects I was tired of, and my psychiatrist suggested I try out a different medication to see if it could help.” Mustering what he hoped was a wry grin, Chuck gestured to himself. “Obviously it’s not working.”

“Who did you talk to today?”

Chuck glanced over at Tommy, his proximity even from the other end of the couch lending him a tiny bit of strength. “First stop was my psychiatrist, Dr. Mahoney, and then I had an appointment with my therapist, Dr. Anderson.”

Across the room, David shifted in his seat. “What’s the plan?”

Chuck deflated, exhaustion making the effort to form words feel like a monumental task. "I'm supposed to try these meds for at least another month to see if the side effects even out, but Dr. Mahoney said I can just titrate back off of them if it feels like too much” He rubbed his sleeve over his eyes. “I scheduled some extra therapy appointments. That should help.”

Devastation flashed across David’s face. Beside him, Tommy was quiet.

“So there’s nothing we can do right now?” David asked.

Chuck shook his head.

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