Page 61 of Poolside

Tommy’s shoulder dropped, and something shifted in his dark eyes. “Of course. Can I get you anything?”

“I’m okay,” Chuck said, hating the layer of tangible awkwardness that had settled between them. He sat at one end of the gray couch, relieved when Tommy sat down beside him. He cast a quick glance around the room, noting the boxes still piled in a corner and the empty white walls. For a man of Tommy’s vibrancy, who felt like a home himself, it felt wrong that his place had even less personality than a hotel room.

Focus, he chided himself. Tommy had thrown it all out there the last time they’d talked, and now it was Chuck’s turn to be brave. He’d run out of excuses; every time he dug into his mind to find a real, rational reason why he was holding back from going after what he’d always wanted, the only thing he found staring back at him was his own fear.

“I’m sorry,” he began. “I’m so sorry for leaving things the way I did at the pool. For what I said. T, you’re incredible and brave and you get to be who you are without my—or anyone’s—validation.

“I’ve had a crush on you, you know. Since college. It was harmless because I knew you’d never reciprocate. But now…” He trailed off, meeting Tommy’s stare head on. “It’s hard to change something like that. It’s scary to have dreams come true, especially the ones that have always felt impossible. What I feel for you ishuge. It’s been trapped here,” he tapped his hand over his pounding heart, “for years, with nowhere for it to go, and it’s terrifying, Tommy. It fucking scares me because I’m not…I’m not as strong as I look, and if I let you in and then you change your mind or decide you don’t want me in the way I want you, I think it might break me.”

Tommy’s eyes were wide and the muscles in his jaw flexed. Chuck wanted to reach out and slide his thumb across the five o’clock shadow there, but refrained. “I’m not used to the story where I get the guy,” Chuck went on. “But I’m here, and even though I’m scared and my whole world feels like it’s turning upside down, I want to try. I want to see what something between us could be like, because if it’s even half as amazing as I’ve imagined it could be, I'll be the luckiest man alive.”

Tommy blinked at him, his mouth slack even as something that looked a whole lot like hope brightened his eyes. “You want to try?”

Chuck nodded. “I’m in if you are.”

“I’m in.”

For a moment they sat there unmoving, watching each other. Slowly, like the sun creeping up over the thick treetops that surrounded the Southeastern outdoor pool, a smile transformed Tommy’s face.

“So, how do we start?” Tommy asked, looking at Chuck with such blatant wanting Chuck felt his cheeks heat.

A part of him wanted to sayfuck itand tackle Tommy into the couch, only coming up for air when it was absolutely necessary to stay alive. But if they were doing this, if they werereallydoing this, then there wasn’t a rush. They had time.

Chuck could have a taste, though.

He grabbed a handful of Tommy’s soft undershirt, and pulled him into a kiss. He felt Tommy sigh, his lips opening to perfectly slot their mouths together. Tommy was gentle, careful, and Chuck felt his reservations and fears melt away.

Their tongues brushed and heat tightened in his belly. Reluctantly, Chuck drew back, a smile on his face as he threaded his fingers through Tommy’s hair, pushing it back from his forehead. “Let’s wait until we get to the lake to try more,” he said tenderly.

Tommy sighed, but the smile stayed fixed on his face. He leaned into Chuck’s touch. “If you say so,” he murmured.

“Only a few more days.”

“Is it lame for me to say that I’m excited?”

“Not lame,” Chuck said back, his cheeks aching from his own giddy joy, reluctantly withdrawing his touch. “Not lame at all.”

“I’ll see you soon?”

“Soon.”

CHAPTER17

TEACH ME

TOMMY

Tommy: Did you get the keys?

Chuck: I already grabbed them from Keaton.

Tommy: Amazing. I won’t be out there until later.

Chuck: I’ll see you there. Drive safe.

Tommy: You too.

Tommy was fifteen minutes into his drive to Lake Murray when he realized he’d forgotten to pack his swimsuit. He cursed as he whipped a u-turn. The delay would have him getting there well past dark.

---