Page 44 of Poolside

“Shit, sorry. Should I not say that?”

Chuck met Tommy’s gaze, shaking his head. “I’m honestly out of my depth here,” he admitted, figuring he owed his friend that little bit of honesty. “But you’re into other men too, right?”

For a moment Tommy watched him, the sounds of their splashing feet filling the space between them. The noses of their kick boards hit the wall, and they both turned—Chuck with the practiced grace of someone who’d done it a million times, while Tommy’s legs got tangled and he needed a moment before he was ready to go the other way.

They kicked off together, the waterwhooshingaround their bodies.

“I guess,” Tommy finally said, and it took Chuck a second to remember what he’d asked. “It’s different than—fuck, I’m sorry. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He turned his head, which still looked so silly in the tight swim cap. His expression turned concerned as he looked at Chuck. “There’s a whole lot going on in my head right now, but I’ll find somewhere else to spew it.”

Chuck couldn’t contain his laughter. “That’s a fucking disgusting image.”

“Beware,” Tommy said in a mock booming voice. “Make your way to safety and brace for bisexual vomit.”

Both men burst out laughing, the sound bright in the morning light. The sun hadn’t quite crested the treetops, but the light had shifted from the blue-purple of early morning to the golden of the day.

“Can I ask one more thing?” Tommy asked as their laughter faded.

“Of course, T.”

“You don’t,” Tommy started, and then shook his head, his cheeks pinking under the sheen of water. “I just want to make sure that uh, being with me like that, you know,physically, is still a no for you.”

Chuck felt like he couldn’t breathe, hating everything about that moment. For years his crush on Tommy had been a secret, safe, little thing. It had been safe because it wasimpossible. There had been no illusion on Chuck’s part that there could ever be a future in which Tommy might want him back.

But now? Now, Tommy was swimming right next to him in a little Speedo telling Chuck he wanted him, saying things likeI get hard thinking about your dick,like it was just another normal day.

It was fucking unfair, but with everything else going on in Chuck’s life, he didn’t think he could gamble with his heart on this. He wasn’t brave enough to ask Tommy if that interest went further than his body, and wasn’t sure he’d survive the heartache if the answer was no.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Chuck finally said, hating that the first thing he felt was regret.

Tommy watched him for a moment before turning to look ahead across the width of the pool. “Got it,” he said, and there was a resignation in his voice that Chuck hated and immediately wanted to fix. “So I think I’m going to go back to The Pride Tide.”

Chuck’s heart sank. “What?”

Shrugging, Tommy kept looking ahead. “I’m going out of my mind, man. I’ve got all of these questions pent up inside and I just…I think I need to, you know, try. Even if it isn’t y—what I want, I’ve got to try.”

They were reaching the end of the pool. Chuck kicked hard toward the wall, jaw clenched tight as his imagination supplied him with flashes of unwanted images: Tommy, smiling softly over the rim of a glass at a faceless stranger. Tommy’s big hands gripping the hips of a man who was kissing down the side of his throat. Tommy taking home a stranger who dropped down on his knees for him, swallowing his cock down and showing him what he’d been missing.

He’s your friend.In spite of all of this, he’s your friend and you need to encourage him. It’s the right thing to do.

“I could give you Wade’s number,” Chuck said, his eyes fixed on the surface of the water. “I’m sure he’d be happy to talk to you.”

Tommy was quiet beside him. When he spoke, his voice was soft. Subdued. “Sure, man. That’d be great.”

It felt too hard to smile, like his skin was stretched too tightly over his skull. And after they exchanged goodbyes and promises to hang out soon, Chuck climbed into his car and burst into tears.

* * *

Leonard was making his life a living hell.

The creature had been active all night, scratching and thumping, doing whatever the fuck deranged animals did during the night hours. Chuck had barely slept, and, after two failed attempts by the exterminator to get rid of Leonard, he was desperate. Since it was a Saturday, he decided to call in reinforcements.

Chuck: Anyone want to come take a shot at Leonard?

Maggie: (rises from the dead armed with beef sticks and a fishing net) I’ve been summoned!

Sage: I don’t want to miss this. David and I will bring breakfast.

Keaton: Jesus Christ. I’ll be there in ten—you should definitely have a lawyer present.

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