Page 38 of Poolside

But there was also a feeling like he’d been inside of a soft, protective bubble for years, and now it was fading away. Where he was used to a layer standing between him and the world, something that dulled the bumps, now there was no padding. No protection.

He was figuring it out, thanks to the therapy and the swimming, butfuckif there wasn’t a part of him that wanted to crawl into a hole and wait for it all to pass.

Dancing was good. Drinking a few beers, loosening the tightness in his shoulders just a little bit was good. The song changed, and Chuck burst out laughing. He looked around, searching for?—

“Dude!” Tommy ran toward him, his face getting the pink flush indicating he was a couple of neat whiskeys deep. He already looked disheveled, with a few buttons undone and his sleeves pushed up to his elbows. “It’s our song!”

Tommy grabbed Chuck’s free hand, his palm warm and soft as he threaded their fingers together.

They sang along to every word ofStacy’s Mom. Tommy never let go of Chuck’s hand, instead swinging their arms back and forth as he swayed his hips and head from side to side. Chuck tried to ignore how good it felt to be dancing with a man like this, just like he was ignoring the way Tommy looked at him.

It was probably just the drinks, but there was something about the way Tommy watched him as they danced. If it had been anyone else, Chuck would have thought he was checking him out. That Tommy was looking his body over like he was interested.

And even when the song ended and they shared a triumphant cheer, Tommy stuck close to him. They drank more, celebrated David surviving another year of being alive on planet earth, and when it got to be midnight, they all started figuring out rides home.

Chuck knew he was past the point of driving. He called up a ride-share and agreed easily when Tommy asked if he could crash at his place.

The two men climbed into the backseat of the car, and Chuck let out a puff of breath as he leaned back against the headrest. They really were getting older. Staying up past midnight belonged solidly in their mid-twenties.

He jumped when he felt Tommy’s head on his shoulder. Chuck looked down, catching a noseful of Tommy’s soft hair and cologne. His body perked up at the familiar scent and proximity.

No. Chuck closed his eyes and shook his head.Don’t fall for this. He’s drunk.

He’s your straight friend and he’s drunk.

* * *

The second they walked in the front door, Chuck beelined to the kitchen, leaving an obviously tipsy Tommy fumbling with the laces of his shoes as he sang nonsense to all three of the cats, who looked horrified at having been interrupted from their various perches around the living room.

Water. Chuck needed water, and a little bit of space.

What the fuck was going on with Tommy? Did he know what he was doing when he’d put a hand on Chuck’s thigh in the car? When his fingers started tracing little circles, his touch burning right through Chuck’s jeans?

Chuck shook his head, bracing himself against the countertop as he watched the cup he’d set down in the sink fill up with water, trying to clear the ridiculous notion that Tommy might have touched him because he wanted to.

A hard, warm body pressed against his back.

Chuck forgot how to breathe. He felt the nudge of a nose against the side of his neck and a warm puff of breath.There was no way his touch was an accident.

“You smell good,” Tommy said softly, and Chuck could feel each word on his skin.

He swallowed the lump in his throat.What the fuck was happening?

But then there was a brush of a mouth and lips pressing, almost like a kiss. Tommy made a humming noise as he nuzzled, actuallynuzzledChuck’s neck.

“You’re so pretty,” Tommy said, his voice louder, almost commanding.

Chuck shivered. “Oh yeah?” he breathed, because he was weak and couldn’t imagine doing anything but playing along with whatever game Tommy was starting between them.

“Mmhm. The prettiest boy I’ve ever seen.”

Chuck had to bite back a moan as Tommy’s wet tongue dragged up the side of his neck. “You can’t say shit like that to me, T.”

Hands gripped Chuck’s hips and next thing he knew his back was pressed against the countertop. Even though he was a good five inches shorter than Chuck, Tommy filled his whole field of vision.

Golden peach skin, imperfect nose, expressive hazel eyes that looked at Chuck like he was a revelation. Mouth slack and teeth biting down on his pink bottom lip.

“I’m serious, Chuck.” Tommy’s gaze didn’t waver.

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