Page 34 of Poolside

What if when he slid his thumb over a cheek he felt the roughness of stubble? What if he felt wide, freckled shoulders under his palms? What if there were blue eyes blinking up at him with tears leaking out of the corners as he choked on Tommy’s cock?

“You okay?”

Tommy blinked, meeting Rebecca’s concerned gaze in the mirror.

He felt his cheeks heat. “I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

“You look like you’re tryin’ to digest oak bark,” Maggie commented, her eyes on the back of his head where Rebecca’s fingers worked a small pair of scissors.

He glanced between the two women, weighing the pros and cons of opening his mouth.

He wasn’t at work. He wasn’t playing the game, trying to impress Rick. And the person he would usually go to, the one he knew would take him seriously—well, he was the one Tommy needed to talk about.

He could start small—test the waters. He wet his lips. “How do you know you’re into someone?”

Both women looked surprised by the question.

“Like, what makes you attracted to someone?” Tommy clarified.

“For me it starts in my body. Physical attraction wakes me up, and then once I get the chance to talk to someone everythin’ else either comes up or it doesn’t,” Maggie said, like it was the simplest thing in the world.

Rebecca seemed to think about it for longer. “I remember being a teenager and so much of attraction for me was fantasy. I’d watch Marlon Wayans on TV and my imagination would run wild.” She laughed, shaking her head. “Honestly, I didn’t even fantasize about anything sexual. It was all holding hands and him buying me flowers. But since then, attraction has always been a spark of curiosity. I see someone, and something about them draws me in and I want to learn more. That’s how it was with Darius. He came into the diner where I was working and sure, he was handsome, but more than that, I just wanted to get to know him.”

“What about you?” Maggie asked, looking right at Tommy.

The question stumped him. He tried to pinpoint exactly what it was that had drawn him to Courtney. She’d been in one of his classes freshman year, and they’d been paired up for a group project. After weeks of working together, something had sparked in him: a slow, growing interest in more than just her vibrant company and teasing. From there, it was history.

“Attraction has always sort of snuck up on me,” he finally said. “That’s how it was with Courtney. I was sitting there, hanging out with her one day, and I just realized she was attractive.” He shrugged. “Makes casual dating weird, that’s for sure.”

For a moment it was quiet, save for thesnick snickof the scissors.

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Rebecca said carefully. “Attraction is personal. If it takes you a while to warm up to someone in that way, or if you need to be friends with someone first, then that’s fine.”

Tommy tried to look inside, to untangle all of the thoughts and impulses and wants that blurred together in his mind. The more he thought about it, the more clear it became: he’d just woken up one day, and, although he had no idea why, there was a tight curl of want in his belly when he thought about his best friend.

Maybe it could be that simple. Maybe his body wanted Chuck and that was enough of an explanation.

His bouncing knee fluttered the black apron cape that was cinched around his neck. “I had a moment the other night.”

“A moment?” Rebecca arched a brow at him.

“In my car. Alone.”

“Normally I’m pretty damn good at readin’ between the lines, but I’m completely lost here.”

Tommy blew out a breath, and before he could second guess himself he blurted out: “I jacked off in my car the other night.”

Maggie reared back, mouth wide open, but then quickly broke down into cackling laughter. “I’m a bartender, and even I wasn’t expectin’thatto come out of your mouth.”

“Fuck off,” Tommy said, rubbing a hand over his face. “I was with Chuck. We were watchingSpartacus, like we do. AndSpartacusmakes us horny.”

Rebecca blinked at him. “There’s so much to unpack there,” she started. “I mean, the fact that you watch what is literally thehorniestshow of all time together is…something.”

“Right! It’s so horny!”

Maggie looked between the two of them. “I’m missin’ somethin’ here.”

Rebecca side-eyed her. “It’s horny Romans, orgies, fighting, and weird power dynamics. You’re not missing out.”

---