Page 31 of Poolside

David sighed, broad shoulders sinking. “I know.” He shook his head. “Isn’t it crazy that talking fixes everything? Like, I know it’s obvious, but it really works.”

“If you say so, Love Guru,” Chuck teased, shifting in his seat as their waiter came to take their orders. David, always a creature of habit, got a basic breakfast plate with over easy eggs, sausage, and whole wheat toast. Chuck got a Denver omelet. As their waiter walked away, Chuck turned back to David, bracing his elbows on the table. “Did Sage finish her teaching certificate program?”

The smile that spread across David’s face couldn’t have been prouder. “Yeah. She’s had her practicum in the classroom this past semester, but she’ll officially finish at the end of the month.”

“And she’s going to teach in the fall?”

“Yep. She’ll work at The Grove through the summer and then she’ll start up at her school in the fall. They’re keeping her on as a coach too.” He took another drink from his coffee. “We should all do dinner soon,” David added.

“I’d love that. You should invite Tommy too.”

David’s dark brows furrowed. “Why?”

“Be nice,” Chuck chastised, aware that there hadn’t always been the best of feelings between the two men. It wasn’t that they openly disliked each other; it was more like the rivalry and harsh teasing shared by brothers close in age. “He’s been coming over for dinner a lot, and we’ve been swimming together three mornings a week.”

David snorted. “How’s that going?”

“Really good, honestly. We’ve been training for three weeks now and he’s working his bag off. And, contrary to what you think,” he shot a pointed glare at David, “he’s great to have around. He’s thoughtful; brings me homemade cookies and shit like that.”

“I can make you cookies,” David said, a little bit of defensiveness creeping into his voice. “I just miss you, man. I don’t see you as much as I used to.”

“And that’s okay,” Chuck responded. “You’re happily in a relationship with a fucking amazing woman who loves you: of course you’re going to spend a lot of your time with her. Fuck, I wishIhad someone like that.” Chuck saw sympathy flare in David’s dark eyes, so he moved on, not sure he was up for a conversation about his lack of a partner at that moment. “There’s also the fact that the two of you have the tendency to bone in the middle of the living room. Makes drop-ins a little weird, man.”

David’s cheeks flushed and he muttered something that sounded a lot like“It was only once, asshole.”

“This is our life, Hughes. Your life has changed for the better, and so has mine. It feels really fucking good to be out with you guys.”

David looked at him from across the table with the kind of unwavering kindness that embodied why Chuck thought of him as family. More so than his own flesh and blood. “I’m so glad you told us,” he said softly. But David’s expression told Chuck there was something else bothering him.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“I just,” David began, his voice cracking. “I’m so sorry if I wasn’t a good friend to you through this, Chuck. All those years living with you, and everything happening with your mental health, and I just…damn it, man, I’m sorry I was always pestering you about women. I’m so sorry.”

Chuck’s own emotions overflowed and he felt moisture gather in the corners of his eyes before spilling down his cheeks. “David,” he said, his own voice breaking. “No. Don’t do that. I didn’t,” he paused to take a breath. How did he explain why he’d stayed in the closet to someone who knew nothing of what it meant to have lost people—importantpeople—because of who you loved? “It had nothing to do with you,” he managed. “Not at all. It just felt like too much, you know? My parents—”yep, he was really fucking crying now. He wiped his palms over his cheeks. “When I came out to them, it didn’t go well. They heard I was gay and decided they were done with me. That’s why you’ve never met them. Why they’re never around. I’ve been scared to lose all of you, because when I lost them, you guys became my family.”

David sniffed, mouth wobbling, and then he was reaching across the table and wrapping one of Chuck’s hands in one of his. “I love you, man,” he said. “You’re my family, too. And I can’t wait to get to know this part of you. You have always loved all of me, and I’m going to return the favor so hard you won’t even know what hit you.”

Chuck’s laugh was watery, but he flipped his hand up and threaded their fingers together, holding tight and taking the comfort David was offering. “Love you too,” he whispered.

“And you’re going to tell me if I screw up, okay?” David went on. “I’m probably going to accidentally say some ignorant shit along the way, and I want you to tell me. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.”

Fuck, David Hughes was a good man. The best kind of man.

“You know you’re a really good friend, right?” Chuck asked, nudging David’s leg under the table with his foot.

David waved away the compliment, but his cheeks turned that shade of pink Chuck knew meant he was pleased.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Chuck walked out of the nondescript professional complex feeling like a tenderized cut of meat.

He wasn’t used to it, the full range of ups and downs tugging him in different directions. And after the therapy appointment he’d just had, he wished he was back on his previous dose of meds, where everything felt more contained. Where he felt more in control.

But today, Dr. Anderson had brought up Chuck’s past relationship, which was never a good time. No matter how many years had passed, it still festered in him like an untreated infection. Tender and raw, still, after all that time.

According to Dr. Anderson, they needed to go there. They needed to dig into those tender spots, the ones Chuck would rather ignore, because they were still “ruling his life.” The fear and hurt from his past relationship still overruled his desire to grow and move forward. A part of him was trapped there, still heartbroken by his first (and only) serious boyfriend.

He’d met Ethan in some intro geology class their senior year of college. Ethan was a soccer player, also in the closet, and they’d spent weeks making eyes at each other during class until finally Ethan had slipped Chuck his number.

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