Page 23 of Highballs & Hexes

“I’ve a hard time trusting women.” Patrick shrugged and met her steady gaze. “But I want to trust you. I’m not sure how, though.”

“You can trust that there’s nothing between Noah and me.”

His struggle against skepticism was visible in his unhappy frown, but he didn’t argue.

She closed her fingers over his. “Noah ended our relationship when I began working for him. He has some outdated notion about protecting his reputation and doesn’t want anyone to believe he’s taking advantage of an employee.”

“He’s a fool.”

“I’ll not argue the point,” she said dryly. “But he’s moved on.”

Patrick’s green eyes sharpened. “And you, love? Have you moved on?”

“If you’re asking if I care about him, the answer is yes. If you’re asking if I’m waiting on him for marriage and weens, the answer is no. He made his choice.”

After another long moment spent watching her, Patrick slowly nodded. “What if he came to you and told you he regretted his hasty decision?”

“He said something similar right before you arrived with news of Tadhg.” Fi grimaced. “Is it wrong to want to be someone’s first choice, Patrick? To not be an afterthought or a gut reaction to jealousy?”

“No. I don’t believe it is,” he replied in a compassionate tone. “But then again, I don’t know what being first feels like. I’ve never been anyone’s priority.”

Her heart ached for them both. They were two peas in the proverbial pod.

“I’d put you first,” she said, and it felt like a promise of sorts. Especially when he caressed her cheek and graced her with a smile sweet enough to make her teeth ache.

“Any man who doesn’t put you first is a fucking eejit, Fionola Bohannon.”

The sudden onslaught of tears stung, and she blinked rapidly to dispel them. She was unprepared when he hauled her into his arms, providing her with the comfort she wasn’t aware sheneeded. A sob escaped, and in the next instant, they were lying on the bed with her face buried against his throat as she cried out years of heartache. Not just because of Noah’s defection, but all the ones before.

“It’s all right, love. Sure, and I’ve got you now,” he assured her as he rubbed circles over her back and cradled her close. “I’ve got ya, Fi.”

Despite being imprisoned with little hope of escape, she felt the safest she had in a long while. Patrick’s strong arms were the haven she’d always longed for. Once, she believed Noah would be her North Star, but she’d been wrong.

“I was thoroughly destroyed when my wife cheated on me the first time,” he told her. “The first blow’s the worst when you don’t see it coming. The second is a wee bit easier to suffer, and by the third, you’re calling yourself all kinds of fool and blaming yourself for staying.”

Fi’s arms tightened in response.

“In the end, she betrayed our entire family for Loman O’Connor. Sure, and it would be difficult to find a man more evil than him.” He sighed heavily. “He’d parade her in front of my cell—this exact one—showing off the bruises on her face and neck. And bugger it all if she didn’t stay with him, suffering through the beatings. I’ll never understand it.”

“Oh, Patrick! That had to be difficult, especially loving her the way you did.”

“I didn’t,” he said roughly. “Not since before Carrick was born. I stayed for my children. But I was faithful to her, a woman I could hardly tolerate.”

Fi recalled Eoin and Dubheasa. “One assumes the passion was still alive, if you fathered the twins after.”

“When you refuse to step outside your marriage, the alcohol is plentiful, and a spouse is willing, there are a few gratifying moments to be had,” he said dryly.

With a snort, Fi released him. “You’re to be admired for holding to your vows.”

“Or pitied for the feckin’ eejit I was.”

“No.” She cradled his face between her palms. “Don’t do that, Patrick. Don’t belittle your selfless act. Another would’ve been gone the first time.”

“Aye, and likely I should’ve been, but I’d only to look into Bridget’s fearful eyes to know leaving her with Rose wasn’t an option. Protecting her and her brothers from my wife’s wicked temper was paramount.”

“Why didn’t you kick her out?”

“By the time we all finally saw her for what she was, she was pregnant with Dubheasa and Eoin. I couldn’t.”

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