Page 10 of Highballs & Hexes

“No. It’s sorry I am for taking the shine off a lovely experience. I’m a surly bastard, to be sure.” His smile was self-deprecating, but the lighthearted man was gone.

“And it’s sorry I am that your wife was a horrid creature to cause you such pain.”

CHAPTER 5

The shared kiss with Patrick wasn’t far from Fi’s thoughts over the next few days, and the memory would disrupt her concentration at the oddest times. Noah’s reserved demeanor had returned, and she put his thought-provoking question down to his nostalgia from their bed-rocking nights together. If their interactions were a little stilted and awkward, there was no cure for it.

From Tadhg, there was no communication, and it broke Fi’s heart to think she might’ve done something to help him prior to his disappearance. It bothered her to assume his paranoia was a remnant of his time on Loman’s island, but what choice did she have? She’d never seen a stalker or even a stranger in their midst.

Twice, she’d dreamed of Tadhg huddled alone in a cell, cold and hungry, with fear oozing from his pores as he cried out until he was hoarse. She was the one now haunted by nameless ghosts.

Texts to Patrick were met with bluntyesornoanswers and no indication they’d ever shared an intimate moment. Yeah, and wasn’tthatthe story of her life? It seemed hers was the kiss of death to any potentially interested party. After a snog or a heartyromp in bed, they scurried away, hurrying to move on to the next person, and Fi was left lonelier than ever, contemplating decades of mistakes.

With a self-pitying sigh, she collected the last of the emptied mugs and trudged on tired feet to the bar. Noah was waiting to accept the tray for washing up.

“You all right, love?”

She nodded in answer, too worn out to voice a lie.

As if he sensed her untruthfulness, Noah tossed down his towel and circled the counter. He clasped her hand and led her to the nearest bench, then urged her to sit as he straddled the seat, facing her. The action was reminiscent of the times when they’d dated, when he’d grip the wood and lean in to steal a kiss after making her laugh over some ridiculous remark or another.

Her heart pinged as she registered his serious demeanor.

“Are you firing me?”

“What? No!” He scowled and tipped her chin up to meet his eyes. “Fionola, listen to me, love. As long as you need it, there will be a place for you here.”

She processed her relief by shutting her lids and slumping her shoulders. “Thank you.”

“No need for all of that. Tell me what’s happening with your brother. Any leads on Tadhg’s location?”

“Not a one, and the not knowing is killing me, Noah. It truly is.” Fi swept her hair away from her forehead. “I’m not sleeping well, and when I do manage a few hours, my dreams are filled with visions of him scared and alone.”

She didn’t tell him, when she wasn’t worried about Tadhg, her sleep was also disrupted by hot-as-feck fantasies of being the center of a Noah-and-Patrick sandwich.

Knowing she’d give herself away if she looked at him, she traced the wood grain on the bench seat. “I don’t know what to do.”

“No word from the Unlucky O’Malley?”

Surely he wasn’t privy to her fanciful thought of the two of them, right? Heat crept up her neck, and she fought an urge to fan her warming face. “Very few.”

“You’d have thought after a kiss like the one you shared with him, the man would be beating down your door to make ya his.”

Fi’s brows snapped together. How the bloody hell had he learned about it?

“I went to check on you after you left,” he said, answering her unspoken question.

“I’m sorry if having witnessed it hurt your feelings, but I’ve stumbled across you and your lady of the week a time or two.” Her tone was snippy, but hiding her jealousy wasn’t something she was capable of at that moment.

“You’ve the right to do what you want with whoever you want, Fi. I’ll not hold a kiss against you after I pressed pause on our relationship. But I’ll be buggered if it didn’t feel like salt in an open wound. And especially after I just told ya I still care.”

“Caring isn’t the same as loving, Noah. If you’re not willing to be all in, I don’t want to know about how you’re feeling. It’s not fair to me.”

“Sure, and I know it. But it doesn’t mean I can shut off those feelings.”

Turning away, she dropped her head onto folded arms. “I must be mad, because I can’t understand why you ended it to begin with.”

“You work for me. I can’t take advantage of the situation now, can I? What would that make me but a predator for using my position to shag ya?”

---