Page 65 of Shadow

“Perfect,” I said, really fucking meaning it.

CHURCH

“Eat your fucking dinner,” I snarled at Cadence as she sat at our dinner table a week later. All she did was piss me the fuck off. I’d been dragging her ass down the stairs every day, forcing her to be part of the fucking family. My broken family, and all because her stupid ass couldn’t tell a fuck boy no.

To say I was losing my mind was an understatement. I hadn’t seen Sirena since she walked out the door a week ago. Nothing. She was nowhere to be found. I knew I had to leave her alone, but it took everything within me not to go and pound on Asylum’s door and drag her sexy ass back home.

I trusted she knew what she was doing. I understood why she left. She wanted to give Sin time to recover so he wouldn’t feel guilty every moment he was near her. She wanted to keep us together because if Sin left, it would be too hard to bring him back. He needed to be protected. He wasn’t himself.

Ashes understood. I hated the heartache on his face, though. Stitches had gone nearly manic, and shoveled our entire yard. Now, we had a twenty-foot-tall sledding area in the backyard. Not that any of us wanted to go sledding.

I’d managed to talk him inside after nearly eighteen hours of him being outdoors. He’d shaken and thrown up and slept on the bathroom floor with me beside him. He was getting better now, at least.

And Sin.

He was a fucking mess. I was sure he was punishing himself because I could hear his muffled cries from his bedroom. He never came out of his room when we were home. I knew he blamed himself for a lot of this shit, but this wasn’t his fault. If it was anyone’s fault, it was my father’s because he’s the twisted fuck who set all this shit in motion.

“I’m not hungry,” Cady whispered.

I had enough of her shit. She was defiant even in her goddamn depression. I promised Sirena I’d take care of her.

I reached out and fisted her hair, and shoved her face into her plate.

“I told you to fucking eat,” I shouted. “All this shit is because you couldn’t tell the difference between some motherfucker loving you and using you. I swore to Sirena I’d keep your ass alive. Don’t make a fucking liar out of me.” I rubbed her face harder into the plate, earning a choked sob from her. “Nowfucking eatbefore I choke you with it.”

“Church, enough,” Ashes said, reaching out and grabbing my other arm. “That’s enough, man.”

I glared at him before releasing her. Cady sobbed harder, food stuck in her hair and smashed against her face.

Stitches said nothing, opting to continue eating. I didn’t like how quiet he was being. I knew my brother. He was a ticking time bomb when he was quiet.

“I’m sick of this fucking shit. Sirena is gone because of all this fucking shit!” I rose from my chair, grabbed my plate, and threw it into the sink. It smashed to bits inside. Breathing hard, I put my hands on the counter and stared at the mess.

I didn’t like feeling so out of control. So fucking lost. I needed to see my specter. Cady’s soft sobs only made shit worse. I tugged at my hair before storming out of the room. I ordered a pregnancy test for her a few days ago. She didn’t know I did it. No one did, but I knew that shit needed handled. There wasn’t shit that went on in my home I didn’t know about, and I knew Cadence Lawrence had been here a month and still hadn’t had a period.

“Where are you going?” Ashes called out to me, getting to his feet as I stormed to the front door.

“Out,” I snapped, grabbing my jacket and slipping my feet into my shoes. I slammed the door behind me and inhaled deeply. There was only one thing that was going to make me feel better, and it sure as fuck wasn’t anywhere near Cady.

It was deep in the woods.

* * *

I guttedthe rabbit and wiped the blood from my face. I’d caught the little prick by throwing my knife and nailing it straight in the head.

It did little to quell the ache in my body at how much I missed Sirena or how pissed I was about the entire situation.

Within the hour, I had four new keychains and sticky hands. I laid the fur out to tan, locked up my small shack deep in the dark woods, and began the trek back to the house. It was well after midnight. My breath puffed out in small white clouds as I walked through the darkness. When I reached the edge of the cemetery, I paused and stared through the garden of stones.

I heard soft laughter.

I knew that laugh.

Creeping along the edge of the dark treeline, I watched as Sirena, dressed in complete black, danced around a tombstone with Asylum. He was singing that damn song she liked to hum. She seemed happy but different.

She may have been heavy with sadness, but she wore it like a badge, not letting it dull her shine. I watched as Asylum caught her. She let her head fall back. He tumbled them to the snowy ground, laughing loudly as she clung to him.

My guts twisted as I continued to watch the scene.

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