Page 113 of Shadow

“What’s going on?” I demanded. “Tell me.”

“They want Sirena. That’s the plan. Sully said Everett wants to fuck Sirena and make a family with her. It’s to fuck with Dante. It’s so messed up. I’m sure there’s more. I’m supposed to do Sully’s bidding. I-I can’t do anything to hurt Sirena. I won’t.”

“I know you won’t, but the watchers need to know. This can’t be kept from them.”

“It won’t be. I need to make some arrangements and blow off some steam. I’ll be back in the morning. Take care of her. Carry on like nothing is wrong. We can tell the watchers what’s happening once my head is clear. In the meantime, keep doing what you’re doing with her.”

I scoffed. “I suck, man. I know the fucking moment we’re in bed together…” I sighed and shook my head.

“You’ll blow it?” Mirage asked.

“Man,” I groaned.

He let out a soft chuckle. It was nice to hear considering he was so damn tense right now, but hell, I was too now that I knew there was a method to Everett’s madness. Or at least an actual plan in play.

“I, uh, ate her out today with Church in the alley,” I mumbled.

“I know,” Mirage said.

I sighed. “Of course you did.”

“Just so you know, I only had a glimpse of it.” He tapped his head.

I was quiet for a moment.

“I-I want to do more with her. I’m fucking terrified of embarrassing myself again.” I swallowed hard at my confession.

“I have an idea.”

“What’s your idea?” I stared him down.

“We jerk off together. If you come before me, I get to put my carrot in your ass.”

“What the fuck, man?” I backed away from him and wrinkled my nose.

“See? You won’t want that, so I’m pretty sure it’ll work.” He shrugged.

“That’s your fucking solution? Jerk off together, and if I come first, you fuck me in the ass with your goddamn carrot?” I asked, incredulous at his fucked-up ideas.

He held his hands up. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who said anything about me fucking you in the ass with my carrot?”

“You just did, you fucking nutsac!”

He shook his head at me. “Listen. I said I’d put my carrot in your ass. I didn’t say I’d pull it out and shove it back in. Putting it in isn’t fucking. It’s when there’s at least a pullout and push back that it’s called fucking.”

“You’re unbelievable. Go to the fucking woods.”

“OK.” He cocked his head to the right. “I bet I win the first round.”

I gave him the finger and a scowl.

“If I come first, you can put the carrot in my ass. Does that help?”

“Why the fuck would that help? Why do we need to stick anything in anyone’s ass?”

He shrugged. “It’ll help. I don’t want a carrot in my ass. You don’t want one in yours. I can see how you’d do your best to prevent that. So think about it like this. If you fuck my Rinny and you blow it too soon, I’ll stick a carrot in your ass. I think my jerking off idea is stellar and a good practice run. Think about it. I have to go. My head feels gross.”

“It’s because you have carrots on the brain,” I muttered as he backed away.

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