Page 10 of Shadow

“How do you feel?” Stitches asked, settling into the chair next to my bed.

“Like a bag of battered horse cock.”

“So… dickish?”

I cast him a quick smirk before looking back at the ceiling.

“How is Sirena?” I asked. I had been asking every day since I was able to speak again. All I could think about was getting back to her. However, there was another part of me that dreaded it. I hated that part and tried to push it away, but lately, it was growing larger and overwhelming me.

“She’s OK. She’s willing to throw hands at us to get to you, but understands you need to heal before coming home. I think the stress of you being here is working hard on her,” his voice had lowered. A frown marred his face as he looked down at his hands.

I knew what he was thinking.

He was remembering his time in the facility and all the shit that had happened to him because of me.

I swallowed hard and reached for his hand.

“Don’t fucking say it, Sinclair,” he mumbled thickly. “I don’t want to hear it.”

“Go home, Malachi. I’ll be fine,” I whispered, knowing being here was hard on him after all the shit he’d gone through.

“I’m not leaving.” He gave me a stern look and squeezed my hand. “I’m fine.”

A sigh slid past my lips before a groan and a cough.

Fuck my life.

Stitches hit my med button and delivered me a good dose of painkillers. Within moments, I felt like numb gelatin.

“How’s Cady?” I mumbled through the haze. My tongue felt heavy as I said her name.

Stitches shifted uncomfortably next to me. “I don’t really know. Haven’t seen her much. She’s pretty much locked herself in Sirena’s room and won’t come out. She won’t even talk to Sirena.”

I closed my eyes, shoving the ugly images out of my head.

“What happened?” Stitches asked softly.

I ground my teeth but didn’t say anything. It still hurt too much. I was still trying to process my feelings and fears about everything.

“Sinclair, man, you can talk about it with me,” his voice was still low. “I know what not having a choice looks like.”

A tear slid past my lashes.

“I’m not ready,” I managed to say. “I don’t know if I ever will be.”

“Well, if you ever are, I’ll be here for you.” He squeezed my hand again.

We were both quiet for a moment, him not lifting his hand away. Finally, I spoke again.

“Do you think Sirena would love me still if-if something happened?”

“Fuck, Sin, she’d love you until the goddamn moon crumbled and the oceans dried up. You never have to worry about Sirena not loving you. We all see how fucking deep she’s fallen for you. Honestly, you’re tough competition. Out there with your love notes, sweet words, and big dick. All I have is my sexy brooding and fantastic hair. Knowing a second language helps.”

“You never speak Spanish,” I said to him.

He smirked at me, the gesture not quite reaching his dark eyes. “She loves you. Always. Forever. No worries, OK? Promise.”

I nodded and went quiet again, really hoping he was right. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was cause her any heartache. This secret I was harboring though, fuck, it was eating me alive.

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