My face burned hot at his words, making his blue eyes sparkle. He helped me to sit up. I stared back at Church, my heart in my throat. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t surprised he told Asylum to do that to me.
“So. Shadow,” Asylum said, back to focusing on Church. “If Sirena returns, does Bryce go with her?”
Church narrowed his eyes and shifted his focus to me. I wasn’t sure what he’d say. He said lots of things during passionate, emotion-driven moments, but this was a serious question. I wanted Bryce. I didn’t need more time to think about it. Of course, another part of me said it was insensitive even to feel anything right now when Sin and Cady struggled. I needed to focus on what the hell was going to happen with that whole thing.
The one thing I knew was that I didn’t want it to be true. I didn’t want Sin to be the father. It was sick and twisted of me to want it to be someone else. Anyone else but my Sinful. He’d make an amazing dad, though. I knew without a doubt he would. And if the baby were his, I’d stand next to him and Cady. He’d still be mine. There would just be a smaller version of him to love.
“I’ll give him a test run,” Church finally said. “If I still can’t stand his ass, I’ll let him leave. This is for Sirena. If she agrees to return home, Bryce can come with her.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. I stood and went to him. He guided me easily onto his lap and kissed me gently.
“I’m not such a monster,” he murmured just for me to hear. “Do not think of me as such. Not when it comes to you. You are my entire universe, specter. I am willing to try so that you can be happy. It’s the most important thing to me. I love you.”
I kissed him again, allowing him to steer how he wanted the kiss to go. Finally, he ended it, leaving me breathless. He thumbed my bottom lip before he looked at Asylum on the couch.
“What have you been teaching her? I’d like to help.”
Asylum brightened. “The hatchet. She’s a fucking natural. Firefly, we should show Church what you can do. Maybe he can teach you a few things, too.”
I was more than eager to do that. Not only would it help me be better at defending myself and taking out these assholes, but I’d also get to take my mind off the shit running through my mind.
“Show me,” Church said.
Eagerly, I moved off his lap and grabbed my jacket. Asylum chuckled before he went around the room and extinguished the heater and lanterns. We went outside and walked to the clearing. I held Church’s hand the entire way.
When we reached the clearing, Shadow was already waiting for us. He stood from the fallen log he was on, his hazel eyes moving from me to Church then to our joined hands. I could practically feel his worry and fears.
To quell them, I let go of Church and went to him. He dragged his focus from Church before looking down at me.
“Are you OK?” he murmured.
I nodded for him.
He smiled and fiercely kissed my forehead before he handed me my hatchet. I assumed Asylum had texted him to meet us here.
Church stood back, his arms crossed.
My nerves ate at me. Impressing him was a huge concern of mine.
“You can do this.” Asylum encouraged in my ear. “Pretend he’s not here. Pretend that tree is Sully, and he just told you that he wants to bend you over his knees again.”
I ground my teeth, my hatred for that man boiling fiercely.
“Kill him, firefly. Put that hatchet right through his fucking skull.” Asylum backed away from me.
I exhaled and focused, imagining the tree was Sully. I noticed that the monster within me had started to disrupt the quiet part of me in the past few weeks. I knew that many bad things could happen if I didn’t keep myself in check.
But then again, a lot of these assholes deserved my hatchet.
I let the hatchet soar through the air. It tumbled end over end, hitting my target. Asylum cheered for me. I didn’t look at Church. I took the hatchet from Shadow after he retrieved it and did it again. And again. And again. Never missing. Never swaying. Even when Asylum and Shadow set up different things to hit at various distances, I hit my mark.
Hands landed on my waist after I threw the hatchet for the last time.
“Look at me,” Church growled.
I turned to stare up at him, my heart in my throat.
“You’re fucking perfect.” He crushed his lips against mine in a deep, soul-penetrating kiss. He broke it off to my gasp and pressed his hunting knife to my chest. “Show me. Throw it.”