Page 63 of Shadow

“Don’t. Don’t touch me. I-I…” A look of pain crossed his handsome features as he stared back at me. “You deserve someone better than me. I knew it in the beginning, but I was so…so…captivatedby you. You were written in the stars for me, but I can’t do this. It’s hurting so fucking much, but I can’t, Sirena. I just can’t. I can’t even look at you without thinking about what I did…The guilt. It’s fucking eating me up inside. I never want to hurt people you love.” His body shook as he cried softly. “I-I’m calling it.”

I tensed at his words.

“I-I’ll move into the dorms. I don’t want to intrude on things here. I’ll go tomorrow,” he murmured. “After I talk to the guys.”

I got to my feet, my breathing fast.

He was breaking up with me.

He was going to tear us apart. I didn’t care about what he’d done. I understood it. I accepted it. I’d have done it for him, too. My heart was shattering, and I couldn’t hold all the pieces together.

“I’m sorry. I love you more than anything in this world, but I-I can’t. I need to get my head sorted. I’m not in a good headspace to be with anyone right now.” He sniffled and stared at the floor.

I inhaled and steadied myself. Instead of going to him and shaking him violently, I simply stepped out of the room and went to Church’s bedroom, where I lay in his bed, my mind racing. Sin was here before I was. It was my involvement that ruined everything for the Watchers. They had lives that were good before me.

And because my involvement put us here, it was my involvement that will take us out of here.

I owed them that much.

* * *

I wokethe following morning and carefully dressed before going downstairs to see the guys sitting in the living room. It didn’t take a genius to know Sin was telling them he broke up with me and would be moving out.

“Cady is leaving. Not fucking you,” Stitches snapped at Sin. “You can’t handle being in a fucking room with her? Fine. I can’t handle it either because she pisses me the fuck off, but you are not fucking leaving us, Sinclair. We’ve always been the four of us, and now we have Sirena.WEhave Sirena. You’re not breaking up. I’m putting my foot down. My answer is no. You fucking go to her and apologize and tell her you had a moment of supreme stupidity and didn’t mean any of it.”

They hadn’t even noticed I’d walked into the room.

“Cady will leave. You will stay. That’s final,” Church said evenly.

“I broke up with Sirena last night. It’s done,” Sin said in a shaky voice. “I can’t fucking stay here?—”

Church threw something at the wall and swore loudly.

I placed my suitcase on the floor, and Ashes snapped his attention in my direction.

“Hey, baby,” he greeted me, a shaky smile on his face. “Um, let me get you some breakfast—” He got to his feet and stopped in his tracks as his eyes zeroed in on my suitcase.

“What’s going on? What are you doing?” he demanded, taking a step toward me. “Sirena?”

Everyone looked at me. I stared back at them, my heart aching. Cady needed them. She couldn’t be on her own. She needed to be protected. She cried every night, even though she didn’t think I could hear her. She barely ate. She barely spoke. She needed their protection more than I did, and I loved her and Sin enough to give them both space.

There was a loud knock on the door, and Church let out a snarl. Stitches got up, a panicked look on his face, before pulling open the door. Asylum stood in the doorway.

“Now really isn’t a good fucking time,” Stitches said to him.

“Oh, I beg to differ,” Asylum answered, stepping past him. “I’m just the reaper, here to collect.”

Stitches frowned as Asylum moved to my side and picked up my suitcase. I hadn’t spoken to him to tell him I was coming, but he seemed to know.

Typical.

I didn’t hate it.

“What the fuck is going on?” Church demanded.

Asylum looked at me and cocked his head to the left.

“I’ll tell them,” he murmured. I gave him a grateful smile, knowing that even if I could find the words, my heartbreak and tears would keep me from getting through what I had to say.

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