Page 43 of Shadow

“I want her to love me,” he admitted softly. “I know I’m not easy to love, and Bryce is softer than I am?—”

“Stop,” I said, wrapping my hand around his. “Sirena loves us all for different reasons. If you think she’d leave because Bryce is softer, then you're really nuts. Each of us brings something to the table for our girl, Dante. Even you, with your controlling, stubborn, violent, murdering ass.” I squeezed his hand.

He looked at me and gave me a small smile. “I’ve never been unsure of myself before. But I am this time. I know Bryce makes more sense than any of us do. He’s not violent, a killer, or any of the fucked up shit we are. H-He’d be good for her, and I fucking hate that.”

“Think of it this way: he’s the calm in our storm. She might need that. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t enjoy the wind and lightning, though. Know what I mean?”

He nodded thoughtfully. “I guess. I mean, he did watch her dismantle a body.”

“See? He might not be so bland. We can give him a chance. Let’s see what she does with it.”

“I told her she can’t fuck him,” he mumbled thickly. “Everything else is a go.”

“Good.” I nodded. “If it comes to that stage in their relationship, then I’d like to believe she’d be honest and tell us she’s ready for that step.”

“She will. I trust her,” he murmured. “I just can’t get these thoughts out of my head of him touching her. Kissing her.Fuck.” He shook his head. “It’s always been the four of us. And now? Bryce fucking Andrews? A watcher? Seth Cain? Hell, man.Sixof us with her?”

“Probably more like seventeen because we can’t ignore all the damn voices and personalities that come with Seth,” I mused.

Church groaned and rolled his eyes. “Don’t remind me. She hasn’t said she wants him yet.”

“But she does. Her eyes light up whenever he’s around. Like she does when Sin walks into a room. Or you after you’ve been gone for too long.”

He sighed and shook his head. “One fucking bridge at a time, but I’m more OK with Seth than I am with Bryce. I’d fucking embrace Seth. She knows she has my permission to explore with either of them.”

I gave his hand a squeeze again. “We got this. We will just keep one another grounded. Strength in numbers and all that shit. This could be a good thing. More people to help us take out your old man and all these sick pricks. Wouldn’t that be nice?”

He nodded. “It would.”

“Have you thought about what we’d do once they’re gone?” We never really spoke about the future. Before Sirena, I just assumed I’d start a fire in the wrong place at the right time and end up locked away for good.

“I’m an heir to an empire of pain and misery,” he said softly, a faraway look in his eyes. “It’ll be my turn to rule.”

“You want to take over the Underground?” I widened my eyes in surprise at that. As long as I’d known Church, he’d been trying to claw his way out.

“Maybe,” he said. “It belongs to me. I’d run it differently, though.”

“How?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m sure I’ll figure it out in time.”

He didn’t elaborate past that, so I didn’t push it. I knew Church well enough to know he already had a plan and was carefully working on the details of it.

“I guess all we can do is wait shit out and see how the cards fall,” I said.

“I suppose you’re right. Life was so much easier before Sirena,” he murmured.

“It was, but it wasn’t much of a life. A different girl every night. Melanie and her bullshit. Fucking dealing with Bells. We were just going through the motions.” I quieted for a moment. “You don’t regret Sirena, do you?” I swallowed hard at my question. I knew Church loved Sirena, hell, was obsessed with her, but did he regret it? I feared his answer, but needed to hear it, too.

“I don’t like the way I feel,” he said softly. “I’ve always felt like I was barely holding on, but now? I feel like I’m fucking falling and can’t stop. Once I hit the bottom, I know what sort of monster I’ll be.”

“What’s the bottom?”

He looked over at me. “It’s when we leave here. It’s when she’s ours, without a doubt. Without the fear of her being taken from us. It’s when she has a ring on her finger and a baby in her belly.”

I blinked at him. “You want to marry her? And kids?”

Church never spoke of children. In fact, I assumed he didn’t want them, so this was new information.

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