Page 29 of Shadow

My blood ran cold at his words, and he gave me a knowing smile.

“If you’re lucky enough to love her, do it. Stop thinking about the shit you can’t control. What happened with Adam? With Cady?” He stared me down. Bile burned my throat again beneath his knowing look. “Not your fault. Move on for her. She is the priority. Not the things that rot in the woods.”

“Where are you going?” I whispered as he stood.

“To deliver your message.” He walked to the door.

“Bryce?” I called out, my throat burning as I tried to contain my emotions.

He stopped and looked at me from over his shoulder.

“Don’t take her from me,” I choked out. “I just need some time. I’m not an idiot. I know she cares about you. I-I would rather you join us than take her. I meant what I said. You’re better for her, but please don’t fucking take her.”

“I would never,” he said solemnly. “She chooses.”

And with those words, he left the room, the door closing softly behind.

She chooses.

I wiped my eyes.

Fuck, baby, please continue to choose me after the truth comes out.

Fuck. Please.

SIRENA

The wind outside whispered through the trees like it carried secrets, like it knew what was wrong in this house. I sat cross-legged on the velvet chaise in the living room by the window, my hands fisted around the note Bryce had given me from Sin. I chewed the inside of my cheek until it stung. I had so many wild thoughts in my head. So many worries and fears. I’d lit some of the pillar candles earlier, and the flicker of candlelight threw moving shadows on the walls, and I imagined they were ghosts of my thoughts, too slippery to hold.

Upstairs, behind a locked door, I knew Cady was suffering. She still hadn’t come down. No amount of knocking and silently begging on my part seemed to do any good. It was killing me inside. While I knew what Adam had done to her and Sin was bad, I also knew what he’d done to me was probably a hell of a lot worse. At least I prayed it was. Then I considered maybe she wasn’t upset about being found naked and beaten with Sin. Maybe she hated me because I killed Adam, a guy she seemed to care for. Guilt continued its ugly dance inside my head.

So days later, not a word. Not a scream. Not even the sound of her pacing anymore. That was the worst part—how quiet it had become. Silence meant retreat, and darkness was crawling over her, just as it once had over me. I didn’t know how to pull her back because I could barely pull myself back most days.

I clenched my jaw to fight the sting behind my eyes, but the effort was wasted. My throat had been closed for days. The words, as always, jammed inside me, making me sick to my stomach. All I wanted to do was scream my frustrations into the world. But I couldn’t. I had nothing. It was odd that the words almost seemed to have a mind of their own. Maybe I wasn’t as in control of myself as I hoped. Perhaps the words I’d spoken recently were those of the monster who lived inside me—the one who was fed up and ready to fight at a moment’s notice. The killer I knew I was, because I had, after all, killed Adam. That took up residence with my confusion because I didn’t want my sister to hate me for what I’d done, but God help me, I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

Soft footsteps echoed behind me as I continued to stare out to the darkening night, Sin’s note still clenched in my hand as I rolled around how much I missed him and wanted to see him.

I didn’t have to look to know who it was.

His presence came with a signature gravity, like the room bent around him, but the faint smell of smoke and leather told me who my company was.

“Hey,” Ashes said gently. He stepped into the warm pool of light cast by the pillar candles near my chair. “You okay, heaven?”

I blinked at him and forced a tight nod. I didn’t trust my face to say more, and quite honestly, I didn’t think I had much more to say that wouldn’t end in me sobbing silently. I was tired of crying.

Ashes was truly beautiful. His hair was windswept and messy, his leather jacket in place. His blue eyes drank me in like he was a man lost in the desert, and I was the one thing to bring him back to life. I knew he’d been outside. He said he’d be around, but he hadn’t elaborated on where he was going, but I knew he wasn’t far. If I had to guess, he was staring out at Lake Superior just beyond the back patio. Sin loved to watch the lake. It was frozen now, and the snow made it nearly impossible to see, but I knew it didn’t matter. The lake was as much there as my monster was inside my body.

He approached slowly, cautiously, like he was approaching a wounded animal. That’s seemingly how many approached me recently.

“I figured you might be napping,” he murmured, lowering himself to sit beside me, keeping just enough space between us for me to breathe. I didn’t like that. I wanted to be suffocated by him. I liked it when he was close, just like all my other Watchers. And even…

I pushed the thoughts out of my head. I had way too many things going on to focus on the new men I couldn’t get out of my head. Bryce… my Shadow. Mirage, the one who has loved me since the first breath entered my lungs, and Asylum…the one who tried to kill me but did it out of his undying affection for me.

Now wasn’t the time for all that. Cady and Sin needed to be my biggest concern.

My gaze dropped to my hands. I pulled the sleeves of my sweater over my fingers and continued to hold Sin’s note.

Ashes sighed and leaned forward. “I know today was hard. You were barely with us today, at least mentally. Your mind has been elsewhere. With Sin in the hospital and Cady…” He trailed off, scrubbing his hand down his face.

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