Page 27 of Shadow

SIN

Iate the bland pudding cup, hating how fucking terrible the food in the facility was. Doc said I wasn’t well enough to go home yet, but gave me a tentative release date of Saturday. If I ate. Since I hadn’t eaten, I’d lost more weight. Even Church commented on it. It was hard to hold food down when I had all these ugly fucking images and fears in my head.

Sirena calling me, and my freaking out at her, still plagued me. All I wanted to do was reach through the damn screen, kiss the pink from her soft lips, and tell her how fucking much I loved her. I wanted to apologize and ask if she was OK and if she needed me as much as I needed her.

I put the pudding cup down, my appetite gone. Stitches left for an early therapy session so he wouldn’t have to go tomorrow. It meant I was alone for the lunch hour. It felt strange being alone. The guys never left me like this. I was sure that if Church knew I was here by myself, he’d lose his shit, but when Stitches got the call to come in, I told him to go. He always looked like he was about to break whenever he was in this place, and honestly, I didn’t want that for him. The sooner he could get the hell out of here, the better. I still blamed myself for everything that happened to him and Sirena here. And even Asylum. Had I not fucked up…

I pushed the pudding cup away and groaned as I shoved at the table over my bed. It rolled away on its wheels, and I settled back. The creaking of my door opening had me looking over to see Bryce coming into my space.

“What’s wrong?” I asked gruffly, feeling a little breathless and tired. “Is Sirena OK?”

“She’s fine.” He stepped up to my bed and held his hand out to me. “She wanted you to have this.”

I stared at the note in his hand. My heart jumped into my throat, and my eyes misted over.

Fuck, baby…

With a tight throat, I murmured, “Thank you.”

I exhaled and clutched the note tightly as he searched his bag. He unearthed a notebook and pen and handed them to me.

“I expect she wants a reply. I’ll deliver it to her,” he said solemnly.

I gave him a tight nod and watched as he approached the window to look outside, allowing me some privacy. Carefully, I opened the note and stared down at her neat scrawl.

Sinful

I miss you so much, and I’m worried about you. There’s so much I want to say, but you’re not here. Please come back to me; I need you. We need you. This morning, I whispered a prayer to God, asking that you visit me in my dreams when I close my eyes tonight, that you would kiss me and tell me you love me. I can’t wait to sleep because God answers prayers, and I believe you’ll be waiting for me.

I love you.

Your Siren

I wipedmy eyes before I grabbed the pen and put it on the paper.

Then nothing.

What could I say to her after everything? Everything was fucked now. Adam made sure of that. Fuck, I made sure of that. And Cady?

Bile burned my throat.

I dropped the pen onto the notebook. Bryce turned and came back to me.

“No note?” He frowned.

I shook my head. “No. I-I’m too tired.”

“Bullshit,” he said immediately. “What’s going on?”

“Man, don’t. I’m too tired for the hundred-question game. I’m exhausted. I hurt. I just want to sleep. Scamper off.”

“Don’t be a dick,” he snapped at me.

I blinked at his outburst. The Bryce I knew was a quiet guy, afraid of his shadow. Hearing him snap at me sent confusion spiraling through me.

“She’s worried about you. She loves you. Don’t fuck around with her heart,” he continued.

I stared at him for a moment before speaking.

---