Page 39 of Before You Go

“Yeah, pretty much every day.”

“Every day? Is that even normal?” I ask.

Dr. Bride looks over at me. “It can be.” He focuses on Franny, then. “Have you been drinking enough water?”

“Probably not.” She rubs her lips together. “I’ve been really nauseous most days, so I hate eating or drinking anything because I don’t want to get sick.”

“But you are eating, right?”

“I try,” she tells him, and he gives her a look filled with concern.

“You need to be eating small meals more often and drinking lots of water. I know it’s not easy, but that should help with the headaches. I’ll also write you a prescription for something that will help with the nausea if it’s that bad.”

“Thank you.”

“We want you and the baby to both be healthy and happy.” He looks between the two of us. “Now, are you ready to see your baby?”

Her eyes come to me quickly before going back to him.

“Yeah,” she whispers. I hate the fear I hear in her voice, but knowing that she is just as scared as I am makes me feel a little less alone.

After instructing her on what he’s going to do, she lies back on the table, and Harlow covers her with a blanket and helps adjust her pants before she walks over to turn out the light.

“Come on over, Dad,” Dr. Bride says, so I walk around the table to stand next to Franny’s head as he squirts some clear liquid on her stomach. With my eyes on the screen of the ultrasound machine, I try to figure out what I’m looking at as he moves the wand around on Franny’s still-flat belly.

After a moment, he turns a nob on the machine, and a soft swishing noise fills the room.

“Is that the heartbeat?” Franny asks softly.

“It is.” He smiles at her.

“Wow.” She whispers reaching for my hand.

“And there’s your baby,” he says, clicking away and drawing lines on the screen. I must be blind. I don’t see anything but gray and black. But then a white blur moves, and it’s like the image finally comes into focus, and I can make out a head, what looks like a round stomach, and even a leg. My heart picks up speed while Franny’s hold on my hand tightens.

I tip my chin down to look at her and she turns her head to look at me with tears filling her eyes.

I have no idea how this is all going to play out or what the future holds for us, but for the rest of our lives, we will be connected through our child. The reality of that is terrifying, but what is even scarier is the overwhelming sense of protectiveness I feel when it comes to her. It’s something I felt the first night we met; I just didn’t recognize it for what it was back then.

Drawing in a ragged breath, I look back at the screen and try to focus on Dr. Bride as he tells us about the baby and what to expect over the next few months. It’s a lot of information—more than I can process right now. Not with my whole world suddenly off-kilter.

When he’s done, he prints off a set of the ultrasound pictures and hands them to me before leaving Franny and me in the room alone.

“Are you okay?” she asks, and I drag my eyes off the black-and-white image in my hand and look at her across the room.

“I’m not sure. You?”

“I’m not sure either,” she admits. “Did you catch anything he said after the heartbeat?”

“Not one single word,” I reply with a smile, watching her laugh as she slides off the bed and slips on her sandals.

“Are you going back to work?” She grabs her purse while I open the door.

“Yeah, I have a meeting at three.” We step out of the room and start down the hall. “What are you doing tonight?”

“Nothing, just working on my current painting.” We stop at the checkout desk, where she needs to make her next appointment and pick up her prescription.

“How about I bring you dinner? I should be home by six, if that’s not too late.”

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