Page 37 of Before You Go

But maybe he needs to hear the heartbeat and see the ultrasound, too.

CHAPTER 9

Dayton

With my head spinning, I stare out the window of my office, trying to come to terms with the email I just read. Tuesday, after debating with myself for days, I went to the doctor, and they took a semen sample. Two minutes ago, they sent me the results. I already believed Franny when she said that the baby is mine. I just needed things confirmed for my own sanity, and now I don’t know what to do with the information.

Since I was old enough to come up with my own thoughts about life and how I wanted my future to look, I knew that I never wanted kids. Not because of the responsibility or the fear of losing my freedom, but because of the knowledge of what lives deep down in my marrow—a living, breathing monster lying dormant.

Maybe nothing would ever set it free, but if something did, I never wanted the people I was supposed to care about most in this world to come face-to-face with that part of me. I never want anyone to experience what I did growing up or what my mother did at the hands of my father.

When my cell dings with a message, I rub my hands down my face and spin my chair around to pick up my phone. As soon as I lift it off the top of my desk, the screen lights up, and a message from Franny unlocks.

The fear sitting in the middle of my chest feels heavy enough to crush my ribcage, lungs, and heart as I read it.

Franny: Leaving now. See you at the doctor’s office.

I want to back out, be a coward, and tell her that something came up and I can’t make it to the appointment. But an image of her soft smile pops into my mind, and I know I can’t do that to her.

I don’t want to do that to her.

When I asked if I could go to her doctor’s appointment, the question came out without me even thinking about it because I didn’t like the idea of her sitting alone in a cold room or even with her mom, who I know she loves, but obviously stresses her out.

I type the message and press Send before I can chicken out.

Me: I’ll see you there.

Getting up, I put my cell in my pocket, and grab my keys, shutting off the light before I leave my office and walk past Jamie’s desk.

She’s not here today, and she wasn’t here yesterday, or the day before that. I haven’t seen her since she left Monday morning, after our staff meeting. A meeting in which Billy brought up the news story that had gone out Sunday night.

The story wasn’t as damaging as it could have been and mostly focused on the elections coming up. Still, Billy decided to share that the rumors about him and Jamie—who was not named in the story—were lies. Then he laughed and said I would kick his ass if they were true since she and I have been dating. A few of the men in the room laughed along with him, like it was all a big fucking joke, but most of the people shared looks of doubt and disgust knowing he was lying.

While Jamie, who had been sitting across from me during the meeting, looked more hurt than embarrassed and asked if she could go home not long after that.

For my part I was pissed, the topic wasn’t something that he needed to address at a staff meeting, even if he was attempting to get in front of the rumors swirling around the office.

Not wanting to get pissed all over again, I shove all thoughts of Billy out of my head and walk out of the building to my SUV, pulling up the address Franny sent me earlier today.

When I arrive at the large medical complex twenty minutes later, I find a place to park and stare at the building in front of me for a long fucking time before I build up the courage to get out and go inside.

It takes me a few minutes to find her doctor’s office on the fourth floor, and when I step into the waiting room, the two women sitting at the desk smile in my direction.

After offering them a quiet “hello,” I scan the room for Franny.

I find her sitting alone in the corner, dressed in a pair of jean shorts and a flowy top, with a magazine open on her lap and her eyes on me. I haven’t seen her since she left my place Saturday night, seeming in a hurry to get away from me after agreeing to let me come with her today.

She looks nervous as I close the distance between us. She also looks beautiful, with her hair down and a touch of pink across the bridge of her nose and cheeks, like she’s spent some time in the sun the last few days.

“Hey.” I take the seat next to her, and she closes the magazine on her lap.

“Hey.”

“Sorry, I’m late.”

“You’re not. I just got here a few minutes ago.” Her smile is small.

“Francisca Caputo?” a woman in a set of pink scrubs calls, holding open a door that leads deeper into the clinic.

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