Page 46 of Cross Check Hearts

His outlook stuns me. I can’t say I feel quite the same way about my own bad hands that life has doled out. There isn’t a single fiber in my body that wouldn’t willingly give itself up to get Casey back, to undo all the trauma and damage done to my entire family when he died.

I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve cried myself to sleep about it, hoping and praying that when I woke up Casey would be in the bedroom next to mine again. It changed all of us and our lives forever, and we’re still grappling with it, even ten years later.

I’d love to find a way back to the happy-go-lucky girl I was at fourteen, the girl who thought the whole world was hers, but that version of me feels like a distant memory, so far away now that I often wonder if she ever really existed or if I just made her up to help myself cope.

There’s no denying I’m different now, overly cautious and always afraid of the other shoe dropping. But who wouldn’t be after losing their twin brother at that age?

Looking at Declan now—his eyes bright with life despite everything—makes something shift inside me.

I already admired him for his discipline and commitment to hockey, on and off the ice, but learning about all the stuff he’s been through and how he’s powered through it without letting it totally change him has only made those feelings stronger. He’s more than just impressive, he’s amazing.

“But fuck all my naysayers, because look at me now. I’m the hotshot rookie on the hottest team in the league,” he says with a grin, snapping me out of my thoughts and back into the booth where my hands are still linked with his.

I chuckle. “Damn right you are.”

He gives my hands a little squeeze, and although his grin doesn’t waver, I can see a hint of the weight he’s carried reflected behind his eyes.

“Besides, it wasn’t all bad,” Declan continues. “There were plenty of good moments too. And the hard stuff just made me realize that you have to take the good while you have it. I mean, you probably know better than anyone else that nothing is guaranteed to last forever.”

I swallow, nodding as his words wash over me. Because he’s right. I do.

Chapter21

Declan

Something softens in Hannah’s expression as she nods, her fingers brushing back and forth across my knuckles in a way that seems almost subconscious. The thread of tension that’s been dangling between us since we sat down feels like it instantly goes taut. It’s hard to describe, but I feel something shift between us, something dancing back and forth on that thread like a tightrope walker that could fall over at any second.

“You’re an amazing person,” she says quietly, looking right into my eyes, and the thread gets even tighter, tugging at my heart.

I lift one shoulder in a shrug. “I have my good and bad days, just like everyone else. But I try to appreciate life as it comes and cherish the good moments.”

Silence falls between us, and as our gazes hold, I feel Hannah’s pulse pounding in the veins of her wrist. It takes every ounce of willpower I have not to bring her wrist to my lips. The need to taste her skin there, to feel her pulse against my mouth, is almost overwhelming.

As if realizing how long we’ve been staring at each other across the table, she gently pulls her hands out of my grip and adjusts in her seat. “Sorry, I got us way off track, didn’t I? This was supposed to be a fun game.”

“I’m not complaining,” I tell her with a smile. “I like the detours our conversations take.”

Although she flashes a smile back, it doesn’t stay on her face for very long. But even as I can sense her retreating a little, the thread between us is still there, still pulling at my heart. Maybe things got a little too intense too fast for her, but I wasn’t lying when I told her I wasn’t bothered. Or when I told her that there wasn’t much I didn’t feel comfortable sharing with her. There’s something about this woman that makes me want to lay myself bare, to offer up parts of myself I usually keep hidden.

“If I remember correctly, I think it’s your turn,” she says.

“Alright, then. Truth or dare?” My voice drops lower, and I arch a brow at her.

Hannah hesitates, biting her lip again in that way she has that drives me crazy. I can’t help but see her beneath me in bed, her plump lip locked between her teeth as I slid into her. The memory is visceral enough to make my muscles tighten with want.

“Truth,” she finally says, pulling me out of the vivid memory. “But maybe keep it simple this time?”

“Hm, okay. What’s your favorite color?”

“Blue. Yeah, very unique, I know,” she says with a self-deprecating look, and I laugh with her.

We take several more turns, both of us opting for truth every time, but that’s probably for the best. The only thing I can think of to dare her to do is to kiss me—or more—but we’re not really in the best environment for that, although part of me doesn’t give a damn about our surroundings. Maybe she doesn’t trust herself with a dare, either.

When it’s my turn to ask another question, I tilt my head, thinking about it. Hannah smirks and laughs. Her cheeks are slightly rosy, but I can’t tell how much of that is from the whiskey, the conversation, or some combination of both. Either way, it looks beautiful on her. That natural flush brings out the blue and green in her eyes, making them sparkle in the dim light.

“What is it?” she says curiously, still grinning. “Just ask.”

“Well, I just keep thinking about how you and I met,” I say then lean forward with deliberate slowness, keeping my voice down. She licks her lips and leans closer to meet me, bringing her face near enough that I can catalogue every little detail of her features. “You know, at a kink club. Is that something you’re into or that you want to explore more?”

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