Page 44 of Cross Check Hearts

My heart skips a beat because I have no idea what direction he’s taking this. But my mind does an instantaneous job of jumping to conclusions and possibilities, and heat blooms in my core.

“That depends on the game,” I say carefully.

Declan smirks, his gorgeous brown eyes gleaming. Suddenly, it feels much hotter in the room, like everything just got much closer and is pressing in on me. His eyes travel over me with deliberate slowness, and butterflies flap through my stomach as I wait for his answer.

“How about a little Truth or Dare?”

I laugh, more out of surprise than anything else. The idea is silly and probably a little dangerous, but then again, so many crazy things have happened tonight that I figure it can’t really get much worse. And part of me is more than a little intrigued by the prospect of using the game as a neutral excuse to learn more about him.

“You know what? You’re on.”

Chapter20

Hannah

Declan’s grin makes my stomach flutter.

He nods. “Okay, then I’ll go first. Truth or dare?”

He leans across the table as he asks, closing the distance between us. His cologne—woodsy with a hint of spice—drifts toward me with the movement, enveloping my senses, and I have to fight the urge to inhale deeply. My heart is already hammering, but I’m determined not to let it show.

“Truth. We’ll ease into it,” I answer. Declan cocks a brow, and my cheeks flame when I realize the accidental innuendo I just made. “N-not like that.”

I can’t believe I just said that. But something about the way he looks at me makes it impossible to think clearly.

I feel like he’s already undressing me with his eyes, like he’s about to climb over this table and take me at any second. And the craziest part? Even though we’re in a very public place, this little game of cat-and-mouse we’re playing has me so turned on that I’d probably let him. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him like that since we kissed in the parking lot outside the studio.

“Fair enough.” His chuckle is low and warm. “Okay, then why don’t you tell me the truth about why you were having such a shitty Tuesday?”

His question catches me completely off guard. It’s not that I can’t or won’t talk about it with him, it’s more that I don’t want to be a downer for what has turned out to be a fun night. But more than that, I don’t want him to feel sorry for me or treat me any differently—because that’s easily the worst part of the whole “dead twin brother” thing. People change when I tell them, and it’s rarely for the better.

“You don’t have to tell me, but I’d like to know if you feel comfortable sharing,” Declan adds as the bartender drops off our food, and there’s something about the gentle sincerity in his voice that lifts the weight I was feeling just a moment ago. Maybe it’s irresponsible of me since I barely know him, but I feel like I can trust him with this.

“It’s okay,” I say, taking a small bite and swallowing. “I just don’t really know where to start.”

He reaches out to rest one of his hands on mine, and I have to fight back a shiver. A sigh slips between my lips instead, and although my immediate instinct is to pull away out of fear that someone will see us seemingly holding hands like this, I remember that no one is here besides the bartender—who isn’t paying us a sliver of attention anyway.

Declan traces slow circles against the back of my hand, making tingles spread up my arm. His eyes snap to mine, and I feel like he’s seeing into my soul. “Start wherever you feel comfortable. I’m listening.”

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I have a twin brother, Casey. Or I guess I should say that I used to have a twin.” Declan’s brows creep together, and he squeezes my hand. “He had cancer, and the other day was the ten-year anniversary of his death.”

“Oh shit, hummingbird. I’m so sorry. I had no idea. That must have been impossible to get through.”

“Thanks. And yeah, it was hard for all of us. It still is. Sometimes it feels like there’s this huge hole in my life where Casey used to be. And sometimes I forget he’s gone until something reminds me that he is. Those are the hardest days.”

Declan takes both of my hands in his, cradling them like something precious. “I can’t even imagine.”

I nod. It’s weird because I don’t normally talk about this with people, not even my family, but there’s some part of me that really doesn’t mind Declan knowing this piece of my history. Maybe because it’s pretty much impossible to talk about it with anyone in my family, it feels good to lift the weight that’s been sitting on my chest since Tuesday. And in some way that even I can’t explain to myself, I’m glad it’s Declan who’s helping me do it.

“Anyway, my mom invited me over Tuesday night for dinner to kind of mourn the anniversary together. She was in a terrible mood—understandably—until somehow Aaron came up. She seemed so excited about the idea of me maybe getting back with him that I couldn’t really bring myself to say no to him about going to dinner together tonight, even though I really, really wanted to.”

Declan eyes me for a few seconds, and he looks like he wants to say something but isn’t quite sure. Finally, he releases my hands to rest his palms on the table, but he never takes his eyes off mine.

“I’m going to try to say this as delicately as I can, and please know you’re more than welcome to tell me to fuck off if I’m overstepping,” he starts, but I nod for him to keep going. “You don’t have to live your life for your parents just because your brother died.”

His words strike me with the force of absolute truth. He’s right, and I know he is, but that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. How couldn’t I?

My mother and my father never played favorites with me and Casey, but when he died, everything changed overnight for the three of us. Where they used to have two kids they could invest all their hopes and dreams in, now they only have me. So I’ve been terrified to do or say anything that might disappoint them because in some naïve way, I feel responsible for making up Casey’s death to them. Like somehow, if I work hard enough, get my law degree, and build an incredible career and life for myself, it’ll take all the pain of losing him away from them.

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