Page 80 of A Good Book

Ben made tiny movements, stroking my bare flesh with his as we gazed into each other’s eyes.

“Do you like that?” he whispered before softly kissing my lips.

I returned a tiny nod and felt him grin against my mouth.

“Do you want me to stop?”

I shook my head and accidentally moved my hips just enough that the head of his erection slid down instead of up.

He froze.

I froze.

It was there. Right. There.

“I can stop,” he said with tension to his voice.

Stopping was the smart thing to do. But I was on holiday break and so was my common sense and fear of God.

When I didn’t answer, Ben pushed down the front of his briefs, grabbed himself, and stroked me over and over until I was breathless, coming apart, and whispering “oh, oh, oh” over and over as I orgasmed. Then, just like he kissed me for the first time without warning, he pressed his erection inside of me.

I gasped, arching my back, as the waves of my orgasm started to subside.

“I’ll stop if it hurts too much,” he said then kissed my neck. “Okay?”

I nodded quickly and threaded my fingers through his hair. It didn’t hurt yet. All I felt was a clash of nerves and excitement mixed with a little fear. Ben moved slowly, each time pushing into me a little deeper. It felt good at first, but then it started to hurt. And maybe it would have hurt more with anyone else, even Matt. But love won.

I loved my best friend, and there was no one else I wanted more than him. And even if it wasn’t okay in God’s eyes or anyone else’s, feeling Ben inside of me, whispering such beautiful things in my ear, was by far the greatest moment of my life.

He made me feel beautiful.

Desired.

Cherished.

And I felt like a woman in every sense of the word.

“I love you,” I said.

Even if he couldn’t hear me, I hoped he felt my love. I closed my eyes and focused on that love more than the pain that came with a rite of passage.

He moved a little faster, and I bit my lip. It hurt, but it wasn’t awful. Nothing with Ben could ever be awful. He drew back, pulling out of me.

I looked at his tense face for a second before dropping my gaze to his hand as he stroked himself. What was happening?

Oh … my gosh.

He orgasmedonmy stomach. My mind reeled. Why did he do that?

Then on a long exhale, he collapsed beside me. I didn’t move. How could I? Hisstuffwas on me.

“Gabby …” he mumbled. “God, that was good.”

After a few breaths, he leaned over the edge of the bed and grabbed his T-shirt, then he used it to clean up the mess on me.

“I don’t think we need a baby.” He gave me a sheepish grin.

I pressed my lips together and nodded before rolling out of bed to retrieve my clothes from the floor. Then I peeked into the hallway. When I didn’t see or hear anyone, I made a mad dash for the bathroom.

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