Page 92 of A Good Book

I squinted for several seconds before blinking. “Um, I took two pregnancy tests. They were negative.”

“Perhaps it was too early to detect. It explains the fatigue and nausea. Do you know when you last started your menstrual cycle?”

“He pulled out,” I said just above a whisper.

Dr. Leighton smiled. “The withdrawal method is about twenty percent less effective than condoms. And it doesn’t protect you from STDs. Even with perfect timing, you can be exposed to pre-ejaculatory fluid which contains sperm.”

I nodded as if I knew that, but I couldn’t recall hearing the words “pre-ejaculatory fluid” in junior high health class.

“Do you have an OB-GYN you see? If not, I can give you a referral.”

“I don’t have one.” I stared at my hands folded in my lap because I was too embarrassed to look at her.

Nothing had gone as planned. I was supposed to be in love with Matt. We were supposed to have sex on our wedding night, and a doctor was supposed to congratulate us on our pregnancy without using the words “pre-ejaculatory fluid.”

“Just stay hydrated and have small snacks on hand like crackers. I can write you a prescription for prenatal vitamins if you’re planning on keeping the baby.”

Was I keeping the baby? Of course. My parents. God. My conscience. All would be in favor of keeping the baby.

My parents.

I was the good child. The only one to go to college. I was saving myself for marriage. The disappointment in their eyes would kill me.

“If you need time to think?—”

I shook my head. “I’m keeping it.”

“Very well. Before you leave, I’ll get you a prescription and we can set up your first appointment with an OB. If you don’t know the date of your last period, they’ll take an ultrasound to determine how far along you are.”

I heard nothing but the echoing of her voice.

CHAPTERTHIRTY-TWO

MADONNA, “PAPA DON’T PREACH”

Gabby

I had no one.

My best friend broke up with me in every sense of the word, and I couldn’t talk to him on the phone. Olivia said she’d visit me, but I’d only seen her once since the start of the semester, and that was just because she was missing a shirt that she thought might have accidentally gotten put in my laundry hamper.

I hadn’t heard a peep from Matt since Christmas.

And I’d been too busy mourning the loss of Ben in my life to carve out time for a social life.

No friends.

No degree.

No job.

No boyfriend.

No direction.

And I was barely passing my classes.

“I’m pregnant,” I said, talking to God as if he didn’t already know. “I’m sorry. I know this isn’t how you wanted me to get pregnant. But I’m keeping the baby so that counts for something. Right?”

---