Page 150 of The Apple Tree

She returned a sad smile. “I had to ask.”

“I love him. And maybe I’ll never get to be with him, but I love him with my whole heart. And that means that through this process, losing him has destroyed my heart. So don’t do this. Don’t blame him or me for falling in love. It was mutual andconsensual. Everyone is so focused on the ten years between us, but that’s just a stupid number. We fall in love with our hearts, not with our brains. This wasn’t me trying to rebel and upset you and Dad. Do you think feeling like we couldn’t tell anyone about our relationship was easy or fun?”

“Eve, we only want what’s best for you.”

“But why do you get to choose? Why do you even get a say in it? I’m going to spend my whole life making mistakes. That’s part of being human. Isn’t it exhausting to feel responsible for everyone’s choices? You have to let me do this. My decisions are mine now. I don’t need you to make them for me. I need you to love me. You and Dad have always preached about unconditional love. A Godly kind of love. Let me live. Let me stumble. Let me figure things out as I go. Justloveme. That’s it.”

“We do love you.”

I shook my head. “Dad kicked Sarah out of the house. That’s not love. That’s control. You have to love us even when you can’t control us, or else it’s not unconditional love.”

“That wasn’t about love, Eve. That was about respect. That was about following rules. Sometimes, there’s tough love, and that’s how you learn valuable lessons in life. It wasn’t easy to leave you at the rehab center, but we did it out of love. Not control. Not anything else. It was tough love. Tough for you and tough for us.”

I started to speak but swallowed my words. Instead, I sipped my hot chocolate and let her words replay in my mind. Perhaps she had a point, too.

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

LIONEL RICHIE, “SAY YOU, SAY ME”

Kyle

“Is she home?”Adam asked as I carried the phone onto the deck to watch the first snow after tucking Josh into bed.

Clifford jumped into one of the rockers.

“I think so, but I don’t know for certain.” I brushed the light dusting of snow off the chair and sat down.

“She’s an adult. Bring her back here with you when you come home.”

I chuckled. “Just like that, huh?”

“Yeah, man, just like that.”

“She just got out of rehab. I don’t want to fuck it up. I don’t want to fuckherup.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “I was an enabler. She’s going to need a good support system.”

“You and Josh. I’ll be here to help too.”

“You drink like a fish,” I said.

“I don’t have to drink around her.”

“It would feel selfish, like I’m thinking of myself more than her. I can’t love her like that.”

“Can you really love her if you’re not with her?”

“Yeah, I can let her go. It might be the best way to love her.”

“Do you think she’ll see it that way?”

I brushed a little snow off my leg. “Not at first, but eventually.”

“I bet Josh’s mom thought the same thing. She knew you’d eventually be okay and that you’d discover that her leaving you was for the best. Right? How many days have you thought that?”

Zero days. Until I met Eve.

“We’re okay,” I said.

“What if Melinda showed up on your doorstep tomorrow? Would you take her back?”

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