Page 5 of Without You I Have Nothing To Lose

“Girl, you’re lucky James is off today, and Marilyn is here. He probably would’ve been waiting on you at the door,” Ariel said, as I passed her and went to my assigned register.

“At least I don’t have to look at his sour face my whole shift.” I kept my conversation to a minimum, because like I said…I didn’t want any friends.

Six hours later after I rang up what seemed like a million customers and processed twice as many refunds, it was finally time to go home. I was outside waiting for my Uber when they canceled on me after I’ve been waiting for almost twenty minutes.

“Fuck!” I groaned. I had no one else to call but my boyfriend Gabe and that was hit or miss. I called him six times back to back for him not to answer. With no other options, I tried my luck booking another Uber. While they were searching for a driver, Gabe finally called back.

“The fuck you blowing me up for, Daiz (Dej)? You act like I ain’t working,” he barked through the phone’s speaker.

“I wouldn’t be calling you if I didn’t need a ride, Gabe. My Uber canceled, and it’s getting late. Can you come get me?”

“Didn’t I just say I was working? Go inside until one can come and pick you up.”

“You’re really gonna leave me out here stranded like this, Gabe? It’s not like you clock in. Why can’t you come and get me?” I was so furious that the tears I tried so hard to keep at bay betrayed me and poured out of my eyes without any restraint.

“Man, I’m not about to be arguing wit’ yo’ ass. I’m grown as fuck and so are you, so figure that shit out.” He didn’t even give me a chance to respond before he hung up in my face. Defeated, I let out a cry of agony and turned to head back in the store to wait in the employee lounge. Doing so, I ran right into a hard body.

“Damn, shorty. Watch where the fuck you going.” I almost fell, but he caught me, and I should’ve just apologized and went on about my business, but at that moment all I could do was cry. I mean one of those defeated cries that came from the pits of your soul. I was so over this shit, but I didn’t know anybody and didn’t have anywhere else to go.

“Aye, shorty. Watch out. You getting snot all on my shit,” the stranger’s voice boomed, making me jump back.

“I…I’m so sorry. I…I’m just having a fucked up day…well life, and I’m over it. I’m sorry for messing up your shirt.” I apologized and sat on the bench. I didn’t even want to go back inside now so that they could be in my business and ask me any questions. Taking my phone back out, I opened the Uber app, and now they were all busy in this area.

“Fuck my life,” I groaned.

“It can’t be that damn bad, shorty,” the stranger that I bumped into earlier said. His voice caused me to look up, and I noticed how handsome he was. He was way out of my league, but he was still handsome. He had that untamed look going on with his hair, but it still looked neat and blended in with his low scruffy beard effortlessly. His bushy eyebrows had two cuts on the left, one that rested perfectly over his gauzy brown eyes. When he licked his thick lips, I broke out of my lustful gaze.

“You’re right. It’s worst.” I put my attention back on my phone and an Uber still hadn’t picked. I took a screenshot of it and sent it to Gabe so he could find his fuckin’ heart and come pick me up.

Me: *sends screenshot*

Gabe: *read*

I didn’t even bother to respond back because I knew he would ignore those, too. Putting my head down in defeat, I cried because I was tired of this shit, and I didn’t see a way out. Gabe wasn’t always like this, though. I met him at the YCC center, and he was so sweet. He was really the only one that was nice to me. We became friends and in my second year there he asked me to be his girlfriend and told me I could come and stay with him when I got out. When you aged out, they had people there that would help you get into an apartment and find work. I turned down the help for the apartment since I would move in with Gabe, but took them up on their offer to help me find a job. It wasn’t much I could do with a GED, but I figured something was better than nothing. Well, while I worked, Gabe did whatever he wanted, and I had to pay all the bills with my Walgreen’s check. That wasn’t enough, so I had to end up getting another job at a local beauty supply store. Instead of him loving and provided for me like he promised, he lied, cheated, and degraded me every chance he got. When I threatened to leave, he would throw in my face that I had nobody and nobody would want my tainted ass pussy, as he would say. Hell, I wasn’t able to break loose and leave yet, so his words had to hold some sort of truth.

Wallowing in my own pity, the tears started to flow again. I was startled when I heard his voice again. “Aye, shorty. You need a ride?” he asked.

“No, that’s okay. I’ll catch an Uber whenever one’s available. Thank you, though.” I didn’t know this man, and he probably was just like the rest of them. Vince and Gabe were enough that I had encountered.

“Look, it’s late, and I don’t want to leave you out here and shit. I got a sister, and I would hope a good Samaritan would help her out and shit. I promise I’m not on no fuck shit. Just trying to do my good deed for the day.” His face still housed a voided expression, but his words were sincere. Saying a silent prayer, I got up from the bench and traipsed over to his car. When I got in, I buckled my seatbelt and held onto my phone and purse tight as hell. I was sitting so close to the door that if he hit a pothole, I’d probably fall out. He pulled off, and I noticed he moved and that caused me to jump in panic.

“Chill, shorty. I was just about to ask you for your address. I told you I’m not on that type of time.” I looked over at him and he now had a frown on his face, like I offended him.

“Uhmm…it…it’s 1104 Beckham Road.” I recited my address, and he simply nodded.

Even though he seemed okay, that didn’t stop my heart from trying to escape my chest. His phone rang through his car speakers and that caused me to jump.

“Fuck you jumping so much for? You on some shit?” he turned his nose up at me.

“No…. no. I don’t do drugs,” I answered honestly.

“Shit, maybe you need to,” he said before answering his phone. “Yeah?”

“Where are you? You still coming over?” I heard a woman’s voice. I immediately felt bad because he had a girlfriend that he was neglecting for me. I knew how that felt and I didn’t want to put another woman in that predicament.

“Stop clocking my moves, shorty. I told you I would be through, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but I miss you. I need you,” she was damn near purring and that shit sounded weird. I didn’t see what the big deal was with sex. The first time I was forced and every time after that I just laid there. Gabe was the only other man that ever entered me, but I didn’t see what all the hype was about, and I probably never would.

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