Page 15 of Without You I Have Nothing To Lose

“That’ll definitely help me out if you can do that brunch shit with her instead of me.” That caused all three of us to laugh.

“Okay. We have a deal. I really appreciate this Demetric.” I got up and gave him a hug before walking out of the room, leaving him and Jaylen in the room.

When I got out of the bathroom, Jaylen was still sitting in the room that I occupied, but now she had some jeans and a crop top laid on the bed.

“I keep clothes here, and these are actually new. It’s also some new underwear and bra over there too. The bra is a sports bra because your boobs look a lil’ bigger than mine.” I looked from her to the clothes and still wondering why she was being so nice to me. Her brother had opened his home to me and she’s giving me her clothes. “Get out your head and get dressed. Meechie already left, and he left us some cash. We’re going to go quit one of your jobs, go shopping and out to eat. All my girl’s days are with my mom, so I’m excited.”

“You don’t hang out with your brother’s girlfriend?” I asked, nosily.

“Chy, bye. Meechie doesn’t have a girlfriend. If you’re talking about Paris, she’s just an old ass auntie fuckin’ on my brother,” she revealed with a snarl on her face.

“Old auntie? How old is she?”

“Thirty something. He likes older women, though for whatever reason. When he was sixteen, his girlfriend was twenty-six. She called herself coming to the house one day and our mama caught her coming from out of his room. She beat her ass all the way down the stairs and into her car. Girl, that shit was so funny. I picked at him for a month straight,” she laughed.

“Oh, wow,” I giggled. “I know he was embarrassed.”

“Hell, no. Meechie don’t care about shit. Enough about allat. Hurry up and get ready so we can go.” She got up and walked out of the room, and left me alone to get dressed. While I did that, I couldn’t help but wonder why this was happening to me. Was this the beginning of a brighter future, or another step back into my demented past?

***

After going by my job at the hair store and quitting, Jaylen and I were now at the mall getting a few things to hold me over. I wasn’t expecting Demetric to do anything for me, but I did appreciate it, nonetheless. Jaylen had me in Nordstrom looking through the racks when I was more comfortable going to Forever 21.

“Ooh, Daizha. This would look so good on you,” she complimented.

“I doubt it. It’s way too short, and where would I wear it?” I looked at the jean, spaghetti strap denim short jumper. It was cute, but what was I going to do with it.

“It’s not that short, Dai. Besides, you got too much ass and hips to be hiding them. We’re getting it, and we’re going out so you can wear it.” Before I could interject, she was throwing the jumper across her arm and stalked out toward the shoe section.

You would think that she was shopping for her by the way she was dragging me from store to store, picking up stuff for me. By the time she was done, I didn’t even recognize the wardrobe she picked out for me. It was significantly different from my normal. It took me a while to start dressing somewhat feminine after what Vince did to me and every time I did, Gabe made it his business how much I looked like a slut. Safe to say, he diminished my confidence. It might actually feel good to reclaim it again. After going to get our nails and feet done, I felt like a new person. It felt good having some kind of interaction outside of work. I haven’t had many friends in my adult life, hence the reason Gabe always said that I had nobody. He was right, but because of his refusal to treat me like a decent human being, I gained two new friends that I was forever grateful for. We were now in Target getting the essentials that I would need. Jaylen was talking my head off about us going out somewhere tonight and celebrating new beginnings when I heard my phone go off in my purse. Opening it, my face immediately formed into a grimace.

Gabe: You really went with that nigga? I knew you were a hoe from the start. I hope that nigga know you ain’t shit but a triflin’ ass hoe who let any and everybody fuck.

I quickly closed out the app and put my phone back, ignoring Gabe’s latest tirade. That was quick lived when I heard the phone go off again.

Gabe: Oh bitch you gon’ just leave me on read like that? Wait till I see yo’ hoe ass again. That nigga won’t be able to save you this time.

It was hard not responding to his bullshit, but I had to ignore him for my sanity. If I continued to feed into him and his nonsense, then I’d always be stuck in his trap. So, once again, I ignored his ass.

“Daizha!” Jaylen called out, breaking me out of my trance. “Did you hear anything I said?”

“I’m sorry. Gabe keeps blowing me up, saying off the wall shit as usual. He acts like I’m the one that fucked over him over and over again,” I huffed.

“Girl, fuck him. He’s just mad that you’re finally free and able to find you a fine, rich ass nigga now that’s going to treat you like you’re supposed to be treated. Let that nigga be mad.” A smile crept on my face because, for one, her energy was contagious, and two…she was right. Fuck Gabe. I could do without the nigga.

Jaylen had me out in the streets all day and we were finally back at Demetric’s house. He wasn’t there yet, so Jaylen helped me put my things up and she coordinated my outfit for tonight. I was still apprehensive about it, but she was right. I was still young and needed to start living my life.

“Why can’t I wear my sneakers, Jay?” I frowned. She had a pair of green wedge sandals paired with the romper and I was not about to be doing all that. I agreed to the skimpy attire, not the hooker shoes.

“Because you can’t wear sneakers with everything.” She shrugged. When we were out, I went into the retro sneaker store and picked out a pair of brown and wheat Retro Jordan 3’s. I’ve been waiting for these in my size. Even though I pinched my pennies tightly, I factored my sneaker money into my budget like another bill. I hate that I had to start over since Gabe wouldn’t let me get any of my things. Maybe I’ll go there when I know he’s not home.

“I can, and if you want me to go, that’s what I’m wearing.” I placed my hand on my wide hip, waiting for her to say something.

“Shut me up then,” she laughed. She helped me put the rest of my clothes up and said she would be back to pick me up at nine. That gave me enough time to cook, take a shower and a quick nap. I was against it at first, but I was actually looking forward to a night out.

It took me a lil’ over an hour to make a baked potato casserole and boil some corn. It was something quick and simple, yet filling. After leaving the oven on warm and turning the corn down on its lowest setting, I retreated to my new room and gathered things for my shower. I hated that the bathroom was in the hallway, but I had to remember I was a guest and beggars can’t be choicy like my grandma used to say. Once I collected my things, I headed to the bathroom and took a nice, long shower. I almost didn’t want to get out, but I didn’t want to use up Demetric’s hot water. After brushing my teeth, I collected my discarded clothes and headed back to my room. On the way out, I collided with a hard body.

“Damn, shorty. You stay running into a nigga,” Demetric said with a smirk.

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