Page 24 of Without You I Have Nothing To Lose

“It smells good as fuck in here. You ’bout done?” I asked.

“Yeah. I was just about to see if you were ready to eat.”

“Hell yeah. I smelled that shit through the vents.” We shared a laugh.

“Go wash up and I’ll fix your plate.” Following her orders, I did just that and when I came back, she had my food set on the table and a glass of milk. That was a habit that I didn’t break from the group home. I had to have milk with my meals unless it wasn’t available. I sat and waited for her to fix her food and join me. After we held hands and prayed, we started digging in with the only sounds that could be heard were our forks clinking against the plates and me chewing. When we were done, Daizha collected the dishes and washed them as I rolled another blunt and grabbed a bottle of Hennessy. After making sure the kitchen was clean, she joined me in the living room and sat on the opposite end of the couch with one of her thick ass legs tucked under her. For the first few minutes, she just stared at me before she finally spoke up.

“You wanna talk about it?” she asked.

I took a pull of my blunt and exhaled before I answered.

“Not unless you wanna tell me your story.” We locked eyes and I could tell that she was thinking hard. I was hoping she would back down, but instead she agreed.

“Okay.”

I guess we were doing this then.

Chapter Eleven

Demetric

Isatontheoppositeend of the couch and just stared at Daizha before I built up the nerve to open up old wounds. I didn’t really talk about my past and from what I could tell; she didn’t either. We stared at each other for a few more minutes before I decided to start the conversation.

“How did you end up wit’ that nigga you were with?” I figured that question was simple enough to bring everything to the forefront. I watched intensely as she fidgeted with her hands.

“I…uh…I ran away from home,” she revealed.

“From where?”

“Charlington.”

“Damn, that’s almost two hours away. What were you running from, shorty?” I knew that question was heavy for her by the way her eyes glossed over, and her breathing hitched.

“I…uhm. My cousin raped me,” she disclosed, and I thought I stopped breathing.

“You serious?” I asked, stupidly.

“As a heart attack. He was eighteen when he came to live with us. My mama and his are sisters, so she sent him to come stay with us because he got in trouble. Well, everything was cool for the first six months, then I noticed he would start staring at me and saying lil’ slick shit. I ignored all of that because I never thought my own flesh and blood would do any ad to me, you know? So one day I got home early, and he was the only one at home. We watched a movie together, then I went to my room to take a nap. The next thing I knew, he was on top of me, pulling my shorts down and penetrating me. I was a virgin. He took away my innocence and did that shit for a year straight. I ended up pregnant, and I was happy as fuck when the school’s nurse told me that. I just knew it was finally over. They called my mama to come get me and when she got there, they told her why. When we got in the car, she gave me this big speech about being ready and I could’ve come to her instead of being fast. She never even asked me how or who, she just automatically assumed it was my fault. I told her it was Vince, and she got quiet. She didn’t say anything the whole ride to the abortion clinic nor did she on the way back. As soon as we got in the house, we ran right into Vince, and she confronted him. Of course, he denied it, and I jumped on his ass. She accused me of lying while Vince got up with a smirk on his face. I knew right then that I wasn’t safe, and I wasn’t staying in that house with them.”

“When I heard my mama leave, I grabbed a bag, packed a few things, and left. I brought a bus ticket to New Grove, where I went to the Youth Crisis Center. They got me situated, and because my mama relinquished her rights, I was emancipated at sixteen. I met Gabe there, and he was the only person that seemed to care. That was until he aged out, and I did a year later. My life has been hell ever since and I wouldn’t care if I ever saw him or my mama again.” By the time she was finished, I was speechless. That was some real foul shit that her mama and that nigga pulled. Just knowing what she went through and how resilient she was made me want to protect her that much more.

“Damn, Dai. That’s deep. You have any clue to why your mama didn’t believe you?” I asked.

“Nope, and now I don’t care.” I nodded my head in confirmation.

“Your turn,” she smirked, like she knew she wasn’t taking me off the hook.

“Simply put. My mama sold her pussy for money. She didn’t mistreat me or anything and she did take care of me, but the moment they took me from the comforts of my home, she turned her back on me. I haven’t seen her since. Then this shit wit’ Zeus being my real daddy is a lot to process. This nigga knew for years that he was my damn daddy, and looked me in my face and didn’t say shit. How am I supposed to feel about that? Can you imagine being a jit and seeing different men coming in and out of your house and wondering when one of ’em were going to admit to being your daddy? That shit fucked me up as a kid, but I tried not to let it bother me too much. That’s why when the Parson’s fostered me, I was cool because I finally had a family. I was even happy to have Jay’s annoying ass as a sister. It’s like my whole life has been a fuckin’ lie.” I lit the other blunt that I had and leaned my head back on the back of the couch as I closed my eyes and blew the smoke out of my mouth.

“Are you mad that he’s your daddy or that he didn’t tell you?” she asked. Opening my eyes, I glanced over at her before closing them again.

“Both.”

It was silence between the two of us and I appreciated it because my mind was all over the place. Just as my thought was complete, I felt Daizha’s soft body flush against mine and her arms wrapped tightly around my waist.

“What you on, Dai?” I asked through hooded eyes.

“Nothing. I just felt like we both needed a hug. Thank you for opening up to me.” She was still pressed up against me when I hooked her chin and brought her lips to meet mine. Letting it linger for a few seconds, I lifted her enough to where she could straddle my lap and continued kissing her juicy lips as our tongues wrestled.

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