Page 2 of Without You I Have Nothing To Lose

“Yeah, I’m done. Don’t make me have this talk with you again because the next time, I’m not talking.” He gave me a look, and I knew exactly what it meant. I may not intentionally buck at the nigga, but I was still a man, and having another nigga run up on me was out of the question. Pops or not.

When I walked back into the kitchen, Ma Izzy and Jay were still in there. She already had my pastries packages in a container so I could take ’em with me.

“Aight, I’m out. I got shit to do. Jay, don’t call me because whatever you plotting, I ain’t got time for. Ma, I’ll see you later.” I kissed Ma Izzy on the cheek and picked up my bowl.

“Don’t forget what I said, Meech,” Zeus called to my back.

“Yep,” was my response because I already told his ass I got it. I’on need him repeating shit. I had shit to do and staying here going back and forth with him wasn’t it.

***

“Nigga, the fuck took you so long?” my boy Kev asked when I got to his spot. This was the only person from my past that I stayed in contact with. We lost touch for a few years, but one day we ran into each other at the basketball court. Nigga was sixteen and living by his self because his mama was too strung out to do anything else but get high. He started selling dope to make sure he had food and clothes. It was crazy that his mama was a crackhead, and nobody never took him from his home. Mine might have been a hoe, but she was all I had. After the years went by, I started thinking that she was glad I was gone because I hadn’t seen her since I was taken from the comforts of my reality at the tender age of ten. I probably wouldn’t know what I’d do if I saw Juanita’s ass right now. That damn day still plays in my head from time to time.

Me and Kev made plans to meet up at the court later. After we slapped hands and went our separate ways, I headed toward my house. As I got closer to my house, I noticed a strange car in the driveway. That wasn’t unusual, but I was tired of coming home from school and seeing and hearing my mama in compromising positions. As I trekked up the driveway, I heard what sounded like arguing, causing me to pick up my pace. I don’t care what my mama did. I wasn’t letting nobody disrespect her. I ran up the stairs and opened the door to see my mama arguing with another woman.

“Ma, what’s going on?” I asked, walking up to her.

“Nothing, Meechie. Go into your room,” my mom instructed. Doing as she said, I started down the hallway to my room until the mysterious lady grabbed me by the arm.

“Demetric, I need you to come with me,” she said. I looked at my mom in confusion. She had tears streaming down her delicate face. Seeing my mom so upset caused me to become unhinged.

“Ma, what’s going on?” I asked, making my way back to her, but the lady grabbed hold of my arm again.

“Get off me!” I yelled, snatching my arm back and going to my mother.

“Ma, why is she saying I’m going with her? What’s going on?” I asked again.

“Meechie, baby. Somebody sent her here to do a welfare check. They said someone reported that I had you in an unstable environment,” she croaked out. Granted, my mom had sex with a lot of men, but she never mistreated me or anything. How could they take me from the only person in my life? I turned to the lady, and she was standing there looking unfazed by the scene unfolding in front of her.

“I don’t want to go with you. I’m staying with my mama,” I stated.

“Demetric, you have to come with me so I can take you somewhere safe,” she said just as two police officers walked into the house. I looked at the officers and realized one of them had been here before.

“You son of a bitch! You set me up!” She screamed, charging the officer.

“Ma’am, calm down,” the other officer said.

“Fuck you! This nigga been buying pussy, but you want to take my son away from me because I did what I had to do to provide for him?”

“Ms. Cole, you could’ve gotten a respectable job to take care of your son. Prostitution is illegal. I’m pretty sure you know that,” the lady said.

“With all disrespect, fuck you and your respectable job.” My mom spat.

The officers came my way, and I resisted as much as my small frame could against a grown ass man.

“Ma!” I cried out. She stood there crying just as hard as I was. The officer started escorting me out of the house, but I wasn’t going without a fight, though. I was kicking and screaming, trying to get loose. He got tired of my antics and picked me up, carrying me under his arm out of the house and into his car. My mom tried running behind the officer until the other one had her restrained. We were both yelling and screaming for them to let me go back to my mom. Both of our cries went unheard.

That was the last day I heard from her. I even went back to our old house, and the shit was completely empty. It was like she didn’t give a fuck that I was living out here in this world without her. Breaking away from my thoughts, I brought my attention back to Kev.

“All that matters is that I’m here now, nigga. I’m assuming you went to the meeting since Zeus ain’t say shit.”

“You know I was there. I called yo’ ass, and you didn’t answer that shit. Paris must’ve pulled them cougar pussy tricks out on yo’ ass last night.” We shared a laugh because he damn sure wasn’t lying.

“Nigga, did she? I didn’t get up until Zeus started blowing my shit up. I ain’t even have time to shower. I went straight to his crib and washed my ass. It was too early in the morning to be arguing with his ass.”

“I feel it. You ready for this shit, though? I mean, you already in it, but you ready to take the throne?”

“Shit, I guess. It’s crazy that he wants to give me the shit, though. I’m not his real fuckin’ son. I’m pretty sure it’s more qualified niggas than me.” I often thought about how Zeus really treated me like his kid. I mean…he’s been my pops since I was thirteen, and the only nigga that I considered giving the title to. It was times when I would look at the niggas Juanita had come in and out and tried to figure if one of ’em were my pops or not. It was hard to tell because I looked just like her ass, but it didn’t stop me from looking.

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