Page 59 of Designation: Null

He remembers the last night before their transformation. How they couldn’t sleep. “I love you, you know. You’re the best brother and my best friend and… and tomorrow we’re going to become Dominants and everything will be fine,” Logan had said.

Daniel hadn’t answered right away. “I love you, too, Logan. Goodnight,” he said, and Logan heard him turn over, the conversation over. But he knew his brother better than he knew himself, and he knew exactly what Danielwasn’tsaying. There was no guarantee they’d become Dominants, and even less that everything would be fine.

And maybe life didn’t even work that way, that one could behave in a certain way, do the right thing and get love in return. Maybe they wouldn’t have gotten their father’s approval even if they’d been Dominants.

Jim pulls up to Logan’s apartment and it’s a relief to stop thinking about Daniel and things Logan can’t change.

“Go up and get his stuff; I’ll wait here,” Jim says. They’re walking to the door when Jim rolls down the window and shouts, “Don’t take too long! No distractions!”

He’s going to ask what Jim means, but then Robert’s hand is pressing against the small of his back and Logan is shivering in response and he understands exactly what Jim means.

19

Robert canremakehim into someone else, Logan thinks as he opens the door to his apartment. He is someone who was null and who will now be submissive. Which used to be a terrifying thought. The worst thing he could think of.

“My father won’t be able to take me back?” he asks again. Because that’s the real issue, the big boulder in the middle of the road that means he never really thinks about what life as a submissive would be like. He couldn’t see it, couldn’t get there, and so what was the point? But now there’s Robert.

“No, he won’t. Submissives have the right to choose who is their Dominant of Record and it isn’t usual for it to be a family member.”

Logan nods but still isn’t convinced. “I might keep asking. You don’t know everything.”

“Then keep asking me. And I’ll keep telling you. And when you’re comfortable you will tell me everything and I’ll say the same thing again.”

Logan walks into his apartment and stands in the living room until Robert stands before him, cupping his face in his hands so he’s meeting Robert’s serious gaze. “Hey. I will claim you, collar you, marry you, whatever it takes if it looks like your family is going to make a play for you. I will protect you, Logan. I swear.”

“Marry, huh?”

Robert blushes. He picks up Logan’s hand and kisses the back of it. “I mean it.”

Logan doesn’t have anything to say to that.

“I used to be terrified of becoming a submissive. And now it’s here and that fear is… this feels like maybe it’s a relief. I can just leave it to you to worry about. Isn’t that bizarre?”

“Sweetheart, it was hard work for you to stay a null. I don’t believe that is your natural designation. It’s hard to tread water twenty-four seven.”

“Water? I was treading quicksand—I was drowning. As long as I could hurt myself and stay angry—so fucking angry at every Dominant I met, then everything was just about manageable.”

“So long as you had the washes, douches, pills, and pain?”

“Okay, yeah. That too.” And then he’s blinking back tears.

“What is it, sweetheart?” Robert asks, squeezing his fingers. Because he’s paying complete attention to Logan, focused and intent as Logan pulls clothes out of his chest of drawers.

“That was no way to live. I don’t even know what the future will be like, but how can it be worse than what I had?”

“You’re so good, Logan. So honest with me. You’re beautiful. I’ll keep you so safe and happy, honey.”

“Oh,” he breathes, and leans close for a kiss. And then there’s a hand up his shirt, thumbing over his nipple, pressing into his flesh with the nail.

“Hurts,” he breathes, but arches into it, that small flash of pain turning into pleasure.

“You’re too sweet. I won’t be able to stay away.”

He whimpers and Robert kisses him deeply, as if to claim the moan, the very sensation that his touch caused. And then he’s leaking and Logan puts his own hand between his legs, over his crotch, as if that will stop the spread.

“Poor boy. Are you getting wet for me? For Daddy?” he murmurs.

Logan gasps at the word, shocked to hear it said aloud. Robert takes Logan’s hand and puts it over his own cock, pressing Logan’s hand down, urging him to rub and squeeze. “Christ, I need to come. I have never wanted anyone like I want you, Logan. This is unbearable.”

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