Page 25 of Designation: Null

He doesn’t answer right away. “Not in a typical way. I might touch someone more, if I’m wanting to assert a claim,” he says, and brushes his hand across his face like he’s hiding. “But I don’t get aggressive or angry.” Logan wonders if that’s why he’s always asking if he’s touching Logan too much.

Probably wishful thinking on Logan’s part.

“So you don’t dominate during sex?” Logan asks. Something like fear goes through him. He shouldn’t have asked. Why did he ask? Robert has to be dominant during sex, right? That’s what being a Dominant is.

Robert is quiet for a long moment.

“Um, I’m not sure I want to do this with you,” Robert says slowly.

Logan actually makes a sound, like he’s being eviscerated. He takes a step back. “Sorry. I can go.”

Robert holds up a hand. “Wait. It’s just that there’s curiosity and then there’s friendship and I guess there’s wanting to know because one is romantically or sexually interested in someone… uh, and I can’t figure out why you’re asking personal questions. If it’s the job or curiosity or… something else. I just want to understand where you’re coming from before I answer.”

“Pretend I didn’t ask,” Logan says. He turns to leave.

“Wait. Logan.Please. I don’t think I’m saying this right. Don’t go yet. Why did you come see me?”

“To see if you wanted to go to lunch. I was back from my mission and I wanted to see my friend.” He laughs unhappily. “My friend who I apparently make uncomfortable,” he says, turning again to the door, wanting to run away.

“Shit. Logan. Wait,” he says, following him to the door. Robert’s hand settles on the wood to keep Logan from opening it. Robert drops his hand as soon as he realizes. “Sorry, I’m not trying to trap you here or cage you in.”

“I know! I’m not worried about that!” Logan shouts. And then he feels like shit because part of him is convinced he just yelled athisDominant. Which is ridiculous because Logan doesn’t need a Dominant or want one. And Robert certainly has no interest in dominating him. He’s made that perfectly clear.

Logan wants to open the door and leave but he can’t. Not yet.

How can Logan fix this? Maybe Robert could punish him? And then things could go back to the way they were? Logan has to try. Walking out on Robert when he’s disappointed in him is impossible.

No amount of rice, beans, and plastic floggers could fix that fuck-up.

Logan has to try, but how?

9

“I’m sorry,” Logan says. “I could… I could send you a picture ofafter?If you want?” His voice is shaking. Shit. He’s going to cry. What a bizarre reaction. Logan hates that he’s getting emotional over this.

“Sweetheart, Logan, what are you talking about?” Robert asks gently. His hand reaches out, clasps Logan on the shoulder and drops instantly. It’s very awkward.

“You don’t even want to touch me now! You never want to touch me, do you? You said I gave good hugs and that was a lie, wasn’t it? I don’t want you to lie to me. I’d rather you said nothing than lie to me—” Oh shit. He’s shouting!

Logan is going to be sick.

“Stop. Hey!” Robert commands, putting dominance into his tone. “Listen to me.We’re okay. I do like touching you. I love touching you,” he says, sounding frustrated. “But Logan,youdon’t seem to enjoy being touched all that much, so I try to watch out for it. It’s all on me to not go too far and upset you. I’m the Dominant. I’m the one who can hurtyou. I’m supposed to protect you and make you feel safe, and I don’t have a good line with you yet. I’d rather be cautious than hurt you. I mean, fuck, it seems like someone has hurt you.”

He wishes Robert would hold him. “I don’t normally like Dominants. And I don’t normally like to be… touched. But I do like touch when it’s you. And I likeyourdominance. It doesn’t feel like anyone else’s. I don’t feel scared around you. You’re safe. I just don’t know what to do or how to respond when you’re near me. I’m not used to it. And no one has hurt me because I’m not submissive. I’m nothing.”

“You’re not nothing.”

“I’m null,” Logan says, but it’s a lie. “Or I was. I don’t even know if I can say that anymore. I had a pretty good routine going that kept me even. Every time they took blood it came back as so minimally submissive and nonresponsive to dominance that I was classified as null. But I don’t think I can keep that going much longer. What if it’s changing? And what if it’s because of you and how you make me feel?”

That lands like a heavy fucking stone between them.

“Okay. Thank you for telling me,” Robert finally says. He clears his throat. He might be trying to decide what to say next. “Logan, can I hug you?”

Logan’s shoulders hike up in resistance, which is annoying. “Yes! Fuck. See, why am I doing this? I do want a hug! I just—promise toneverask me again. Just assume it’s okay. If you want to touch me, you should.”

Robert moves into him and pulls Logan into his arms. Logan’s legs go weak and he presses back into the door out of necessity. It’s either that or crash to the ground. Robert goes with him, Logan clutching at his broad shoulders. He’s trapped between Robert and the door.

It’s incredible. A hell of a place to be. Arousal throbs through him and Logan whimpers.

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