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Later. He’ll deal with everything later.

Logan spends the whole day trying to conserve the energy necessary to get through the evening without behaving like a needy slut.

He can’t let Robert down.

Thankfully,by the time Logan needs to leave, he’s doing a lot better. He takes a hot shower, shaves, and even tidies up his quarters a bit. He looks well enough to pass for an okay facsimile of himself, and the moment he sees Robert, everything is better.

Robert is in the process of buying flowers from a kiosk as Logan comes out of the subway. He gives Logan a distracted hello as he pays.

It’s already dark outside and Logan manages to keep his head down, like he’s looking where he’s walking, because he thinks Robert might be able to tell that he isn’t feeling right.

“Can I give you a hello hug? A ‘thanks for coming all this way to save my sorry ass’ hug?” Robert asks.

“Yes, of course,” Logan says, his acceptance sounding almost like a laugh because he’s so pleased at being asked, relieved at being wanted. Robert takes him in his arms and Logan keeps himself stiff and twisted to the side, not because he wants to but because his back stings. And then he’s reminded of the night before, and how ashamed he is, how unworthy of someone like Robert Logan actually is. By the time he’s told himself to relax, the hug is over.

Robert doesn’t complain or even seem to notice that Logan might be the worst hugger to have ever hugged in the existence of hugging.

Logan blinks away tears. Thank god it’s dark. He feels a little better from the touch. It won’t last, but any improvement is good.

They walk down the main street and then turn down a narrow street with two-story row houses. The walk isn’t long enough. He isn’t even sure what they talk about. When he tries to remember later, his mind is empty. Robert bought flowers, Logan gave him a crappy hug, and then they were at Robert’s parents’ house.

And then they’re walking up the steps, and Robert opens the door and steps inside, and Logan would swear that a swell of love rolls out to meet them.

The fucking contrast is ridiculous and apparent with a single glance.

Logan’s family is incredibly wealthy. They live in a big mansion with servants, and everyone would consider him lucky to have money and privilege, but the truth is Robert is the lucky one. With his loving family too tightly crammed into a narrow house on a busy street that has seen better days. Bursting with love and affection.

It also smells really good. Because of course it does. Is there ever a happy family that doesn’t involve good food? He’s suddenly starving.

“Robert!” a young woman shouts and then there are four different people all trying to hug Robert at once.

“Yeah, okay. I’m alive and well. You’ve seen me already. What’s this nonsense? I was here last week. Meet Logan. He’s a friend from work.”

“Really?” Robert’s sister asks, eyes wide and curious. She’s a teenager but that’s as good as Logan’s guess gets.

She says hello but is in the midst of hugging her brother, plunking against his chest, a standing collapse, and his arms close around her even as he talks to his dad and introduces him to Logan, too.

Logan tries to pay attention and be interested, but he can’t stop looking at Robert and how handsome and strong he is. Peaceful. All that soothing dominance radiates from him and even though his family shouldn’t be affected since they don’t have designations, Logan wonders if they can feel it anyway. The way they all crowd close like Robert’s a warm fire on a cold night. His family must have been devastated by his absence.

He’s the sun and all his siblings rotate around him. Just before his sister steps back, Robert kisses her on the head. “I’ve missed you. You’re a good sister, you know.”

Logan blushes, feeling a warm glow of transferred happiness. Her face is turned up to her brother’s, both of them smiling, and what wouldn’t he give to just be a witness to this sort of love and devotion?

How does Logan see such a thing and accept that it isn’t for him? Not ever?

And then Robert’s other sister is in his arms, squeezing Robert tightly. Her eyes close and she sighs against his chest. Robert laughs at something his father says, rubbing his hand up and down her back for a minute, and she settles against him.

As peaceful as Logan had wished to be the night before.

Finally, she squeezes him and opens her eyes. He whispers something to her—it’s so loud with everyone talking and Robert is so quiet that Logan can’t catch it—but then she’s smiling and gone. His brother is next. He’s twenty and gangly, and looks more like his dad, whereas Robert looks more like his mother.

Robert puts his arm around him while listening to Logan talk to his dad, and as he follows them into the house, he sees Robert’s hand stay on his brother’s shoulder, just… grounding him.

His brother is the one to move away and Robert’s hand slides off easily, going into his pocket like it’s nothing. The house is happy and warm, and Logan feels a little drunk and floaty with all the positive dominant energy Robert is putting out into the world.

He gets to sit next to Robert on the couch while they wait for dinner to be ready. Logan hasn’t felt this good in ages. Maybe ever.

They both get beers from the kitchen and Logan keeps waiting for it to be awkward, but it doesn’t happen. They’re all so nice.

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