Page 78 of Designation: Null

“You were going to be sweeter, weren’t you?” Logan asks, acting on a hunch.

Robert makes ahmmsound before answering, as if he’s deciding what to say. “The truth is that I thought of fucking you in a hundred different ways but the look on your face, how much you needed to feel like youbelongedto me… I couldn’t have taken you any differently even if I’d wanted to.”

“Yes, Daddy,” he says, believing him. “You were right, in case you were doubting. It was exactly what I needed. I didn’t ever think I’d want it like that—where I felt completely owned and vulnerable—but I did. Because it’s you.”

“I love you, Logan. I’m glad you’re mine and I’ll take such good care of you. I think we’ll explore how deep your submission really goes, because I think it’s there and I’m not sure you’ll like gentle and nice as much as you thought you might.”

“I will. Some of the time,” he says, kissing Robert’s fingers. He thinks about all the time he spent hurting himself, certain that there was peace and relief if he could just make everything blindingly, brilliantly sharp with pain.

But that wasn’t what he needed. “Do you think I’m prey, too?” Logan wonders, feeling safe enough to ask. To accept that if he has the same affliction as his brother that he’s with a man who is loving and kind enough to see him safely through.

“No. We’d know if you were. That doesn’t stay hidden, sweetheart.”

“How would it be different?” he asks. “When you sank inside me that first time, made me take all of you… is it different than that?”

Robert sighs and brushes his lips across the top of Logan’s head as if to console him. “I’ve never seen it, baby. I’ve only heard things about what that designation needs. It isn’t just primal or even brutal; there’s a lot of control and nesting. I saw a presentation on the needs of a prey submissive and it was very animalistic. Knotting and biting, having a nest, and even being chased and pursued. They don’t react to fear like normal people. But it isn’t common and your brother might be different.”

“Jim mentioned the name Liam Stone earlier. He’s a Dominant?” Logan asks.

“Yes, he’s a Dominant. Very high level, lots of control, and he had a boy with a prey designation.”

It’s the tone of Robert’s voice that gives it away. “Had?”

“His boy died because Liam didn’t meet his needs. It was only a few years ago that a prey designation was very controversial. There was a lot of stigma around it. There was a lot of effort made to suppress and alter that designation because it was felt to be best for the submissive. And I think the military didn’t like the idea that they’d fucked up so badly. They’re trying to create superior soldiers and instead they created a man who essentially needed to be a victim. Liam’s boy was one of those and it apparently destroyed him. Liam has spent the last few years doing a lot of work and advocacy for submissives with a prey designation, attempting to educate people and also destigmatize the designation.”

“That’s horrible,” Logan whispers. He blinks back tears. “When my father first suggested putting Daniel into stasis I wondered if he was correct. If what he needed was just too awful and pathetic. Too dehumanizing.”

“But?”

“He’s a person. What he does behind closed doors shouldn’t matter. And I realized that if he went into stasis he wouldn’t be coming out. That my father wanted the problem to go away and didn’t care if it got fixed or not.”

“I’m sorry, Logan. Did you see his designation in action?”

“Um, no. He was always very heavily suppressed when I saw him. And there was a lot of cognitive therapy and surgeries and… he just seemed worn down. Defeated. And every time I saw him, he was worse. I should have stood up for him.”

“What would have happened then?” Robert asks.

“I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. Your father would have put you away too. Don’t rewrite history to punish yourself, Logan. You couldn’t have done anything. You didn’t hurt your brother and you couldn’t have saved him.”

Maybe Robert is right, but he doesn’t believe it. Surely there must have been something. What if they’d run away? Spent a life on the run, his brother’s designation giving them away sooner or later.

“And you think he’ll work with my brother?” Logan asks.

“I think it’s worth asking.”

“I want to see Daniel as soon as possible.”

“We will. I’ll have more information tomorrow. And we’ll be there as soon as he wakes up.”

“And then what?”

“And then we’ll figure out what’s best for him and do that.”

Logan takes in a breath and exhales shakily. “There’s something else I’ve been thinking about. I don’t… I don’t want to go back to the military. I’m done. And Daniel will need me.” He’s terrified of Robert’s response.

“Alright. I think that’s a good plan,” Robert says, squeezing him tight. He doesn’t bother to hide his smile. “Seriously, Logan. I’m glad.”

---