Page 55 of Designation: Null

Robert doesn’t have a good reason to stop him beyond jealousy, so he doesn’t. But he does watch from the doorway, as if Jim would even attempt to do anything to Logan!

He manages to fall asleep, but he wakes up sobbing, and he’s positive everything smells like blood. Jim is asleep and snoring softly beside him. Robert stares out the window because surely it has to be morning soon.

17

Logan wakes up in the morning to the smell of coffee and bleach. He gets up and goes to the bathroom and has the disconcerting discovery that his bathroom and floor have been cleaned. The absence of blood is a very bad sign. All of his toys are out, covered by a towel. They didn’t get cleaned. He’s relieved but also embarrassed. The towel being over them, the fact that they’re not cleaned when everything else is….

It doesn’t necessarily mean anything. He takes a shower, gets all the blood off his skin, gets dressed, then goes to the kitchen to see Robert.

There is a strange man in his kitchen. He isn’t sure why this hits him as a very bad thing, but it does. Robert came in to where he lives and cleaned him up, cleaned his place up and… why has he brought this man here?

“Hi, I’m Jim,” the stranger says, and pours Logan a mug of coffee. He puts it down between them. “I work in Designation Resources. You might have seen me around. I’m usually working mission preparation and new recruit integration,” he adds, casting a glance toward Robert.

There he is, so still and quiet Logan hadn’t noticed him.

Robert looks pale and awful, eyes hollow with dark circles under them. He’s sitting on the couch, hands together and pressed against his lips as if he’s in the middle of praying for Logan. Or despairing of him.

“Did my father send you here?” Logan asks. He tries to take a sip of the coffee but his lower lip trembles too much and he puts it down.

“Your father? No.” Jim glances at Robert again. “Who is your father?”

“Did you clean my apartment?” Logan asks, looking at Robert, not sure who he’s asking. Which answer is worse.

“I did not. Robert did. Logan—”

“Why are you here? Why isn’t he talking to me?” Logan practically shouts.

Robert slumps back against the couch. “Logan, I’m not objective when it comes to you. He’s here as a favor to me. He isn’t going to tell anyone or do anything to make your life difficult. He won’t report either one of us to anyone.”

It isn’t nearly as comforting as it should be. “Report either one of us? What the fuck does that mean?”

Jim takes a step closer, drawing Logan’s attention back to him for a moment before his eyes are drawn back to Robert. “The issue is that Robert is not a sadist. He wasn’t into whips and chains before the kidnap and torture, and that experience hasn’t made him want it more. Finding you in the condition you were in last night was upsetting to him and he wasn’t sure he could just be your friend, so he called me. There are questions any concerned friend would have about what they found last night. For example, the pills.”

“They’re prescribed,” he says, unable to take his eyes off Robert. “You won’t even look at me? Why don’t you ask me questions?”

Robert glares. “You won’t like my questions, Logan. If I ask you questions, we won’t be friends when it’s over.”

“Why not? You can’t say that and expect me to drop it! What do you want to know?”

“How about I ask my questions and then Robert asks his questions?” Jim offers.

“You promised me! When we first met you said I couldalwayscount on you,” Logan says, but he might be sick. He digs his fingernails into his palms, wanting pain to ground him. Of course it was too much to expect that Robert would be his friend just because he saved him. Of course there would be conditions attached and Logan would disappoint him.

“Robert, maybe you should go outside for a minute,” Jim suggests.

“I’m trying my best, Logan. I swear I am,” Robert says, and gets to his feet. Is he leaving? Logan stumbles forward, needing to stop him, a horrible whimper spilling out of him.

“Easy. Everything is fine. Logan, I’m here.” Robert’s voice is calm. “I wasn’t leaving, I was—”

“He needs space, Robert. He is not yours,” Jim says, his dominance slapping against Logan’s skin.

“Robert,please,”Logan whispers.

“Let’s just—” Jim starts to say.

“Fuck it. I can’t do this, Logan. I’m sorry. I’m the one who owes you an apology, I’m the one who needs to do better by you. Your behavior isnormal.” It’s clear he does not think it’s normal. Robert lying to him is awful, as if Logan has failed him. “This is what you want and that’s fine. But I fucking hate it. It makes me sick. It doesn’t suit you. That’s the truth.”

“Then I won’t do it,” Logan offers. He doesn’t even think about it, just offers. Because he wants to make Robert happy. Doesn’t Robert know best?

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