Page 94 of A Secret Escape

Despite the lack of sleep and dull headache, she felt energized. Talking to Joel, hearing his thoughts on it, had clarified things for her.

She did as he suggested and made a list of all the things she loved about her life, and all the things she considered to be important.

Her baby(that went at the top of the list)

Her friendship with Milly(she was going to ignore the fact that it might no longer exist)

Her relationships with Connie, Nanna Peg, Zoe(and also Joel, but she didn’t want to put that down on paper because she intended to show it to him later)

Acting(the actual process of acting, inhabiting a character)

Spending time outdoors

Physical activity

The list grew, and when she reached the bottom of the page she grabbed another sheet of paper, and this time she started listing all the things she would like never to have to deal with again.

The press

Reading about herself online(those two were linked but she decided they merited separate lines)

Always being watched

Never feeling safe, even with security

Interviews(she loved acting, but she hated talking about it)

That list was heading onto a second page when she heard the front door open and Joel’s voice.

She was surprised. He’d been gone for less than an hour. “Did you forget something? I’ve made good progress here. I’ve already—” The words dried out when she saw his expression. “What?”

“Milly called. Check your phone.”

She hadn’t looked at her phone since the night before. “You took it away from me.”

“You’re right, I did.” He disappeared through to the living room and reappeared holding her phone. “Here.”

“What’s this about?” She switched the phone on and saw the missed call from Milly and the voice mail waiting for her.

She pressed Play.

Nic, it’s me. Mum has collapsed. There was a pause in the message, and it was obvious Milly was crying.We’re in the hospital. I just—I wanted to let you know in case you were wondering where I was.

Connie in hospital?

Why? How?

Nicole played the message again as she grabbed her bag and a sweater.

Joel watched her. “What are you doing?”

She dropped her phone into the bag. “I have to go to her.”

“She didn’t ask you to do that.”

“I know.” But she’d called. That was what they did when one of them was in trouble, wasn’t it? “I’m going anyway.”

“Nicole, you can’t.”

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