Page 43 of A Secret Escape

“Do you still love him?” Nicole held her breath as she waited for the answer.

“I don’t think so, although it’s complicated because of Zoe. You can’t completely sever a relationship when you have a child. I remember how broken up I was after my dad walked out, and I don’t want Zoe to feel that. I want her to know we both love her, and just because we’ve decided that we can’t continue being married, our relationship with her will never change.”

Nicole felt an ache in her chest because she knew it wasn’t Milly who had decided that,it was Richard. “You’re a wonderful mother. Zoe is lucky to have you.”

“It’s not all roses, I can tell you. Being a single mother can be lonely and a bit scary. Like just now when she suddenly announces she wants to be a computer engineer when all she’s wanted to do since she was four years old is act. I know something’s wrong, but I’ll just have to wait until she’s ready to talk to me. And in the meantime I barely recognize Richard. He’s—” Milly stopped in mid-sentence. “Never mind.”

Nicole nodded. “You’re afraid that if you say what you really think, Zoe might hear you. You can tell me another time, when Zoe is at school.”

“Good idea. We’ll go to the top of a mountain and yell loudly.”

“That sounds therapeutic.” It really did, but best of all was the promise of spending time together. Of trying to find their way back to the friendship they’d both taken for granted for so many years.

“I need to put Richard behind me, and you need to put Justin behind you.” Milly raised her glass in the air. “To moving on.”

Nicole toyed with her glass but didn’t raise it. After everything that had happened, she couldn’t bring herself to toast anything. “That’s an admirable sentiment.”

“But?” Milly put her glass down, her gaze fixed on Nicole’s face. “You’re not still hoping the relationship will work out, are you? Because he’s already—”

“No.” It was a shock to realize just how much she hated thinking about Justin when only a couple of months ago thinking about him had been her favorite pastime. “I’m not hoping for that. It’s over. Done.”

“Then, why can’t you forget about him? Why can’t you just move on?”

Nicole stared across the lake and swallowed hard. “Because I’m pregnant. You asked me what tipped me over the edge. Why I called you. That’s the main reason. I’m having his baby. By myself. And yes, it’s lonely and scary, and also more than a little complicated.”

Chapter10Milly

Milly loved being a mother but there were times when it would have been nice to know you could have a conversation without being interrupted or overheard. The night before had been a prime example. Nicole made her shock confession (Pregnant! Milly was still reeling from that unexpected news), but before Milly could delve into the details, Zoe had reappeared, homework finished and clearly keen to make up for her earlier disappearing act.

Her presence had effectively shut down the one topic Milly had wanted to talk about.

But even then the conversation hadn’t gone the way she’d anticipated because every time she mentioned Zoe’s drama group, or the play, her daughter changed the subject.

And it was worrying her.

For as long as she could remember, Zoe had wanted to be an actress. When she was little she’d dressed up and performed in front of an audience of stuffed animals. Milly had been roped in to play various parts alongside her, and when Zoe was old enough to join the local drama club, Milly had patiently provided a taxi service. When she’d been given the part of Hermia inA MidsummerNight’s Dream, they’d celebrated by going for ice cream sundaes at the café. For weeks Zoe had talked about nothing else, but suddenly she was avoiding the subject.

Milly knew something wasn’t right, but Zoe clearly wasn’t ready to talk about it.

Instead she’d asked Nicole about her life in Hollywood and what it was like to wear so many great clothes. Nicole had seemed relaxed, showing no sign of the fact that just a few moments earlier she’d announced a major life change. But she was an excellent actress, of course. She could portray one thing while feeling something entirely different. Milly, on the other hand, couldn’t act at all, and she’d sat tense and anxious, worrying about her daughter and also about her friend. Pregnant? It would change everything.

And now she understood why Nicole had used the worddesperatewhen she’d called asking for sanctuary.

She’d never pictured Nicole in a long-term relationship or settled with children. She knew from previous conversations that it wasn’t something Nicole had pictured for herself either.

How did she feel about it? And did Justin know?

She had so many questions and so far hadn’t been able to ask any of them.

She’d hoped Zoe might decide to have an early night for once, but in the end it was Nicole who had gone to bed first, claiming exhaustion and jet lag, and she still hadn’t emerged from her room when Milly had made breakfast and driven Zoe to school.

On her way back to Forest Nest she’d called her mother to tell her that Nicole was staying and ask her if she had any idea what was wrong with Zoe, but the phone had gone to voice mail, which was puzzling because Milly couldn’t remember a time when her mother hadn’t answered her phone. She’d been Milly’s rock, and she felt a little ashamed for not making more of a fuss of how supportive and present her mother had been. She was going to remedy that next time she saw her.

Back home there was still no sign of Nicole, so Milly had left a note on the countertop.

I’ll be back at lunchtime, and we’ll talk. Call if you need me.

And then she’d gone to work, this time remembering to lock the door of the boathouse behind her.

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