Page 26 of A Secret Escape

They settled themselves at the table by the water and Nicole sampled a mouthful of her food.

“Oh—” she said and closed her eyes, lost in a dream state as she chewed “—this might be the best thing I’ve ever tasted.”

“It’s just eggs and cheese.”

Nicole shook her head and opened her eyes. “No, it’s—” She sliced another piece with the edge of her fork. “I don’t know what you’ve done here, but you should open a restaurant.”

“When? In my spare time? Also, I’d just comfort-eat more than I do already, which wouldn’t be good.” But she was warmed by the compliment. And the biggest compliment was that Nicole had devoured every mouthful and was looking sadly at her empty plate as if she could have eaten exactly the same again had it been on offer.

“What did you do to that food? I feel a thousand times better. It’s like magic.”

“Good.” Milly put her fork down. “I told Zoe about you. I couldn’t see a way to avoid that.”

“It’s fine. I understand.”

“She won’t say anything.” She hoped to goodness that was true and that Zoe wasn’t currently huddled by the lockers with her friends telling them her new and shiny secret.

“You should tell Connie too. And Nanna Peg.” Nicole put her fork down. “Unless they’re shocked by my latest scandal, of course.” She sounded flippant, as if she didn’t care, but Milly knew she cared a lot. Nicole was desperate for approval. Desperate for a place in the sun.

“Nothing shocks them. And they love you, you know that.”

“Do they? Even though I’ve been a useless friend lately?”

Was she expecting Milly to deny it? Because that wasn’t happening.

“I haven’t told them about that. They don’t know we haven’t been in touch.” They would have been upset for her. Angry with Nicole. And Milly didn’t want that. She’d kept hoping it would come right, and by the time she’d realized that wasn’t going to happen, there didn’t seem any point in telling them. “Are you sure you’re comfortable with me telling them you’re here? It would make things easier.”

“Yes. Having me here is an imposition. I don’t want to make this harder for you.” Nicole sounded almost humble, and Milly stood up and cleared the plates.

“I have to get to work.”

“Now? I thought we could talk. Like we used to.”

Like we used to.

There was a wistful, apologetic note in Nicole’s voice, and for a moment Milly felt a yearning so strong that she almost flung her arms around her friend just for the comfort.

She was tempted to blurt out how frustrated she was with Richard, how tough life was and how much she was struggling. That’s what she would have done in the past, and somehow just sharing it with Nicole would have made it all the more bearable. The old Nicole would have hugged her tightly, shared her disgust at Richard’s behavior and then somehow managed to say something that made her laugh, despite everything that was happening. She’d often thought that a really true friend beat comfort-eating, drugs or alcohol every time. But that was then and this was now.

Nicole hadn’t been there for Milly at her lowest point. She hadn’t cared enough, and Milly couldn’t get past the hurt she felt about that.Her pride and her sense of self-preservation wouldn’t let her get past it. The trust between them had been damaged. If Nicole didn’t need her, then she’d make sure she didn’t need Nicole. She’d offer sanctuary and whatever practical help was needed because she liked to think she was the sort of person who would help anyone who was desperate, but that was all she was offering.

And she needed to accept that in life people disappointed you and let you down. That was a fact. But she’d be fine. She’d been forced to manage without Nicole in the wings cheering her on, and she’d survived, hadn’t she?

Maybe it hadn’t been fun, but she’d survived. And she was proud of that.

“There will be plenty of time to talk later. I need to get to work. We’re fully booked and short-staffed. I need to talk to Joel about maintenance, and then I’m rolling up my sleeves and cleaning a few cabins.” Not a few. Just the one currently inhabited by Brendan Scott, but Nicole didn’t need the detail. “You should probably stay here, out of sight. Is there anything you need before I go?”

“A new identity? A do-over of my whole life?” Nicole gave a tired smile. “Just kidding. No, there’s nothing I need. And I’ll be fine. I’ll have a quiet day. Thank you.”

Milly thought of Nicole having an entire day to herself and felt a twinge of envy. She would have given a lot for a quiet day.

Chapter6Nicole

The last thing she wanted was a quiet day.

Nicole watched as Milly hurried away from the boathouse. She wanted to stop her. She wanted to grab her and sayI’m so sorry for everything, but she didn’t recognize this version of Milly. The Milly she knew was open and friendly and held nothing back, but this Milly was reserved and contained as if she’d retreated somewhere that Nicole couldn’t reach.

It was Nicole’s fault, and she badly wanted to fix it. She’d never needed Milly’s listening ear and wise advice more than she did now, but how could she expect her friend to give her the support she craved when Nicole hadn’t done the same for her?

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