Page 92 of A Secret Escape

She noticed that the ends of his hair were still damp, so presumably he’d taken a quick shower too.

“Bacon, scrambled eggs, mushrooms. When we’ve eaten this, we can turn to strong coffee.” He served it onto plates and put them on the table next to two glasses filled with juice. “I squeezed a couple of oranges so that you have vitamin C.”

She took a mouthful of eggs and discovered she was hungrier than she’d thought, so she took another mouthful and then another and then put her fork down.

He raised an eyebrow. “Something wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s delicious, but as I told you before, I can’t put on weight in my job. It’s just how it is.”

“I get that, but from what you were saying last night you don’t actually have a job at the moment, so maybe this is a good time to eat.” He nudged the plate closer to her. “If you don’t eat, you’ll offend me.”

She picked up her fork again. “So, you’re saying that it’s fine if I ruin your shirt and deprive you of sleep, but if I don’t eat your bacon, then our friendship is over?”

“That sounds about right. And talking of friendship, I’ve been thinking about what you said last night. About Milly and Richard and what happened.”

“A grisly story, don’t you think?”

“It’s a pretty sad story. But I think that in all the emotional upset, you’re losing sight of the most important factor.”

“Which is?”

“That the person in the wrong here is Richard.”

It was true that she’d virtually wiped Richard from her thoughts. Her head was filled with Milly and the words she’d spoken. “I was in the wrong too because I wasn’t there for Milly.” It was painful to think about it. She so badly wanted to put the clock back and make different decisions. “I felt so bad about what I’d overheard and what I’d said to him. I was scared of what it would do to our friendship if I told her what had happened, and I just didn’t know what to say. So I said nothing. I wasn’t there for her.”

“You’re so hard on yourself. You were put in a horrible position.”

“Yes.” She could admit that now. She could also admit that she’d been a coward. “But I should have been there for her. The crazy thing is that I was afraid to tell her the truth in case it ruined our friendship, but I managed to ruin it anyway.”

“I doubt that.”

Nicole thought back to the night before. And she thought about what she knew about Milly. “The thing I forgot,” she said slowly, “is that Milly has an almost visceral fear of being abandoned. I suppose it started when her dad left. Loyalty is everything to her.Being able to depend on someone. Trust them. I knew that, and yet somehow I forgot it. I was focused only on myself.”

“And that’s understandable too. No one gets it right all the time, Nicole.” He used her name for the first time. “We’re not puppets. We bring our own life experiences and beliefs to every interaction, and what seems right to one person might be wrong to another. I think Milly will realize that when she has had time to reflect. Where did she go, anyway?”

“She went to stay with Connie.”

“Well, there you go.” He pushed his plate away. “Connie will help her figure it out. She’s the wisest person I know. And if you don’t want to go back to the boathouse, you can stay here. Make yourself at home in my spare room until you figure out what you want to do.”

The offer overwhelmed her. “Thank you. I don’t know how to repay your kindness.”

“Friendship isn’t transactional,” he said. “No payment required.”

She realized that, for her, friendship had always been transactional, apart from her relationship with Milly.

“I kept you awake for most of the night, and you’ll be going to work soon. You must be exhausted.”

“Nothing that strong coffee won’t fix.” He stood up and made them both coffee. “Do you love being an actor? Do you still enjoy it?”

She watched as he made two espressos and then foamed milk. She thought about how much fun she’d had rehearsing with Zoe. “I love acting. I hate the movie business. Not the same thing.”

“Have you considered giving it up?”

“I think that decision may have been taken out of my hands. The movie business seems to have given me up.” But she knew what he was asking. “Acting was my dream. And I wanted to be good at it. The best. I wanted to be famous.” That was before she’d known what fame meant. What it brought with it.

“Because you wanted to make your mother proud. Prove that you were good at something.” He put the coffee on the table and sat down opposite her. “That was something else you told me last night.”

“That hasn’t happened, and I’ve accepted that it never will. I’m just the wrong daughter for her. Square peg, round hole and all that. Maybe if I’d been a scientist or a mathematician . . .” She took a sip of coffee.

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