Page 65 of A Secret Escape

On the weekends when she stayed with them Avery mostly left her alone to do “teenage things” (Zoe wasn’t sure what those were exactly, but if it bought her the right to alone time, then she was happy to sign up for it), apart from that one time she’d offered to teach Zoe some yoga moves that might ease the slump in her shoulders. Zoe had wanted to point out that her shoulders had been just fine until her dad had run off with Avery, but she didn’t want to create even more tension,so she’d simply nodded politely and said she’d think about it.

To be fair, Avery was mostly okay. It could have been worse. She’d done her best to make Zoe feel comfortable in the apartment, which wasn’t easy because the place reminded Zoe of a showroom. At home she snuggled on the sofa with Tiger and everything was worn and familiar and comfortable, but in Avery’s place there was lots of glass and white furniture and a large modern rug with a weird squiggly design and paintings that were probably considered works of art but to Zoe looked as if someone had tripped while holding a paintbrush.

She missed the lake and the trees and the birds. She missed home.

The first time she’d stayed she’d wanted to ask if next time she could bring Tiger for company, but one look at Avery’s white sofas made her realize that this place was not animal-friendly, so instead she’d compromised and brought a photo of Tiger sitting on her mother’s lap.

On the positive side she had her own bathroom, and there was a small TV in her room. Avery never cared what time she turned her light out, so she often read until far too late and then felt exhausted the next morning.

And Avery could be funny, but every time Zoe laughed she felt a little bit guilty because it felt like a betrayal of her mother.

Not that any of this was her fault. She didn’t think that for a moment.

She hadn’t wanted her parents to split up, of course she hadn’t. But she was old enough to know bad things happened, and at least her mother hadn’t died like Mina’s, so she was grateful for that. And right now, the worst thing in her life was Cally not speaking to her because she talked to Cally about everything, and now she had no one she could be truly honest with. Also, Cally knew a ton of things about her, which made her feel vulnerable. Fortunately she hadn’t told her about Nicole, even though keeping that secret had almost made her burst.

She hadn’t told her dad either. Her mother had told her not to tell anyone at all, so she’d kept her mouth shut.

She had a weird feeling that something had happened between her dad and Nicole. Last time they’d stayed with her, Zoe had seen them talking to each other on the terrace of Nicole’s house in LA, and she hadn’t been able to hear what they were saying, but they’d been standing really close together talking intently, and her dad’s expression had been weird, and for a wild moment Zoe had been scared that they were having an affair and that this conversation was something she should tell her mother about, but then they’d flown back home, and a few days later her dad had left and moved in with Avery. Which didn’t explain the conversation between her dad and Nicole but did explain another conversation she’d overheard a few weeks earlier.

And that was another thing she hadn’t shared with her mother. She felt bad keeping a secret, but she knew she’d feel worse if she shared it. So she was trying to accept that she was just doomed to feel bad.

One thing she knew for sure: adult relationships were so complicated she wasn’t sure she wanted one.

Chapter16Milly

I can’t believe he got a table! That restaurant is booked out for months.” Milly riffled through her clothes and pulled out a pair of freshly ironed linen trousers. “These will do.”

“He probably has contacts. He’s a major author. And those will not do. You are not leaving this house wearing those.” Nicole sat cross-legged on Milly’s bed, watching her get ready.

“What’s wrong with them?”

“Oh please!” Nicole sprang from the bed. “Move aside.”

She proceeded to go through every item in Milly’s wardrobe. Everything she held up, Milly rejected.

“I can’t wear that, it won’t fit.” And later. “That’s ancient. I’ve had it since I was eighteen.”

Nicole looked at her in disbelief. “Don’t you ever clear out your wardrobe?”

“No. I hate throwing things away. I always tell myself that one day I might fit into it again.”

Nicole turned her attention back to the Milly’s clothes. “How many things in here do you actually wear?”

“Uh . . . two pairs of linen trousers and the shirts,” Milly said.“There’s a black dress that fits. I suppose I could wear that.” Who would have thought that picking something to wear could be such a trial? She was beginning to wish she hadn’t agreed to go to dinner.

“No, not black,” Nicole said dismissively. “Black is too safe.”

Milly sighed. “Safesounds perfect. You’re making me nervous. This whole evening is starting to feel like a mistake.”

What had she been thinking? Chatting to Brendan in the comfort of his cabin was one thing, but sitting across from him at a romantic restaurant with candles flickering was something else altogether.

“It’s not a mistake. It’s exactly what you need.” Nicole pulled out the black dress. “Is this the one you mean?”

“Yes. But is it too dressy?”

“It doesn’t matter what you wear as long as you wear it with confidence.”

“Says the woman who could wear a sack and still look good. I don’t have any confidence, which is why I stick to my linen trousers and shirt. Honestly, I’m fine in that. I feel comfortable.”

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