Page 16 of A Secret Escape

“Pancakes or omelet?”

Zoe wrestled with herself. “I love pancakes, but I don’t want to get fat.”

“Fat?” Peggy peered through her glasses. “You’re skin and bone, and not surprising given the amount of energy you burn. Whoever said you were getting fat?”

“No one.” Zoe flushed scarlet. “Pancakes, then. And I won’t add much sugar. Sugar is on the banned list too, Nanna Peg, in case you didn’t know. So how did the date go? Do we know?”

Connie sifted flour into a bowl and added eggs and milk. Where had thatfatcomment come from? Maybe it was just an age thing. She was growing up and changing. “The date? We do not know, and we are not going to ask.”

“What your grandmother means is thatsheisn’t going to ask. But I intend to,” Peggy said, “but if in the meantime you find out anything, you’re to text me. Anything. Do you hear me?”

Zoe saluted. “I hear you, Nanna Peg, but she won’t tell me, you know she won’t. She tries to protect me from everything. Like last Saturday when Dad was supposed to take me to my drama class. I heard Mum pleading with him on the phone, but when she came to tell me she pretended he had car problems. I suppose she thought that was less hurtful than telling me the truth—that Avery had booked a table for both of them and he was going for a romantic dinner.”

“You heard that?” Connie was appalled, not only because Zoe had overheard but because Richard had been thoughtless enough to say it to Milly, who was already hurting. She’d felt angry toward him for a while, but now she wanted to kill him.

“Dad has a loud voice. Don’t worry. I get it. He’d rather hang out with Avery than a thirteen-year-old. It’s not exactly news. He made that clear when he moved out.” Zoe gave an awkward shrug and took a sip of juice. “I’m not that interesting.”

Was that what she was taking away from all this? That she wasn’t interesting?

“Not true. You’re one of the most interesting people I know.” Connie beat the pancake mixture so vigorously that some of the mixture spattered the countertop. What she really wanted to do was wring Richard’s neck for what he was doing to his family, but that wasn’t an option. And it wasn’t about her. She had to keep reminding herself of that. Her feelings weren’t important here. Milly was adamant that they were never to say a bad word about Richard in front of Zoe, and although it pushed her self-control to the limits, Connie was trying hard to respect that request. “I’m sorry you heard that. It must be very difficult for you, honey. It’s okay to feel upset or angry or any of the things you’re probably feeling.” Maybe she should take up boxing or jujitsu. Something that would allow her to punch something without getting arrested.

“It’s worse for Mum than me. She’s so hurt, although she pretends she’s fine.” Zoe paused with her hands around the glass. “I heard her crying a few nights ago. I almost went into her room, but it was late and she thought I was asleep, so I don’t think she wanted me to know. Do you think I should have gone in?”

Connie stopped mixing. She ached at the thought of Milly lying alone in the dark crying and of Zoe hovering outside trying to work out what to do.

Her mother was right. She needed to try and detach instead of feeling every blow as if it was aimed at her personally.

Peggy cleared her throat. “I think you were right to leave her alone with her feelings on that occasion. Good decision.”

“It didn’t feel good. For a moment I really—” Zoe stopped herself in mid-sentence. “I’m worried about her, that’s all. I just want her to be okay.”

So that made three of them, Connie thought, returning her attention to the bowl in front of her. Grandmother, mother and child. It was funny how life’s traumas rippled through generations, affecting all of them in different ways.

“Your mother is going to be fine,” Peggy said finally. “She can handle anything that comes her way, and so can you. She will be happy again, trust me. These things just take a while. No one can be happy all the time, especially if they’re not eating sugar, bacon or anything with additives. It’s a wonder anyone manages to raise a smile these days.”

Zoe giggled. “I love you, Nanna Peg.”

“Of course you do. I’m a very lovable person. Full of sugar, of course, so you don’t want too much of me. But I’m here for you, pet. And so is Gramma. You can talk to us about anything. One of the advantages of being my age is that there’s not much I haven’t seen in life. I think that mixture has taken enough punishment, Connie.”

Connie flushed and spooned mixture onto the hot pan, watching as bubbles formed.

Zoe stood up and fetched maple syrup from the fridge. “I don’t understand why Dad and Avery bother going out to dinner. Avery doesn’t eat anything, and she doesn’t let Dad eat either. Why pay all that money to gaze at each other over a lettuce leaf? Last time I stayed over, Avery’s lunch was three almonds and a single slice of apple.”

Peggy’s eyes widened. “Goodness. Does she eat a large breakfast?”

“She doesn’t eat breakfast. She’s following all those rules you disapprove of, Nanna Peg. She won’t touch meat, and she’s obsessed with not consuming anything that has additives. She insisted on seeing a full ingredient list last time we went for a pizza. In the end all she ordered was a salad with no dressing.”

Connie flipped the pancakes.

Was that where the sudden concern about her weight had come from? Was it in response to something Avery had said? Or was it that Zoe was being influenced by watching her?

“I can’t imagine your dad not eating meat.” Connie slid a couple of pancakes onto a plate and put them in front of Zoe. “No additives in this, and the eggs are organic from our own hens, so enjoy.”

“Dad is trying, but he has lapses. Never in front of her, though. He’s vegetarian now, and he has given up alcohol, but when he drove me home we stopped for a burger. We ate it standing outside so that the car didn’t smell.” Zoe looked guilty. “He made me promise not to tell anyone, and I just told you.”

“We’re notanyone,” Peggy said. “And there is nothing you can’t say to us.”

Connie felt a flicker of concern. Were there things that Zoe was keeping from them? Things her father had made her promise not to say? Her anger with Richard was growing by the minute. “Is it all right when you stay over, honey? Do you like it?”

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