Page 15 of A Secret Escape

From the moment Richard had walked out, she’d stepped up to be there for her daughter. She’d made Milly and Zoe her priority. She’d offered childcare whenever it was needed, and she’d done her best to bolster Milly’s confidence. She’d hidden her own distress behind a mask of calm confidence, but there had been nights when she’d fallen into her own bed exhausted by the stress of holding everything together for her daughter.

“I’m fine.” Connie poured the juice into a glass. “And I’ll be even better when Milly starts moving on with her life again. I just want to fix it, and I can’t.”

“No, you can’t,” Peggy said. “It’s the hardest thing about being a parent. You can’t fix everything. And you shouldn’t. It isn’t your job to fix things when they’re adults. It’s your job to support them whiletheyfix things.”

Connie knew the theory, but she wished she knew how to do that and not worry herself sick in the process.

She made herself a strong coffee. Zoe would be down any moment, and she needed to pull herself together, but after a bad night she was feeling particularly vulnerable. “I used to think of myself as a pretty relaxed mother. Competent. I ran a successful business and raised a child. Even when Milly was bullied by those awful girls in the year above her, I didn’t lose as much sleep as I’m losing now. And she’s an adult.” She looked at her mother in despair. “How can this feel worse?”

“Because once they’re adults you have no control. You have to let them make their own decisions and mistakes, and all you can do is watch and support. Also, when the same thing happened to you, you were too busy holding everything together to spend too much time worrying. You just got on with things.”

Connie frowned. “I’m still busy.”

“You spend your time supporting Milly and Zoe and helping out at Forest Nest. It’s time to think about yourself, Connie. Do something that distracts you. Something that needs your full attention.Switch your phone off! You need to detach yourself from their problems for a while. Rediscoveryou. That way perhaps you won’t spend your whole time worrying about Milly and Zoe. And I’ll worry a little less about you.”

Connie couldn’t imagine switching her phone off. What if Milly or Zoe needed her in an emergency? “Is this a good time to say I’m sorry for all the worry I ever caused you?”

“All part of life.” Her mother waved a hand dismissively. “And look at you. You came through it. You can’t get rid of all the bumps. All you can do is hope for good people around you who will be there for you while you crawl over those bumps. And if you think you have it bad, you should put yourself in my position. I’m worried about you, my daughterandmy granddaughter, so that makes my burden twice as heavy as yours and gives me the right to ask about her date.”

Connie wondered how it was that her mother always managed to make her smile. “Maybe, but I still think we need to be careful when we ask her about last night.”

“You have to be careful, but I get a pass because of my mature years.” Peggy spooned sugar into her coffee. “My role is to interfere and give her the benefit of my many decades of wisdom. How did she meet him?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know anything about him. And we’re not going to know unless she chooses to tell us. Should you be using that much sugar?”

“I’m eighty-two,” her mother said. “I’ll eat as much sugar as I like. And just because you’ve been kind enough to let me stay with you while they fix my roof doesn’t give you the right to nag me.”

“I like having you here. You’re an easy guest, apart from your sugar habit. And your tendency to speak your mind. And talking of your roof, how is it coming along? Are they making progress?”

“We had all that rain last month so they think it will take another few weeks. I’m going over to take a look later.”

Connie frowned. “You’re worried they’re not doing a good job?”

“They’re doing a great job. No, in this hot weather they’ll have their shirts off, and that’s the closest to action a woman of my age gets. I don’t want to miss it.”

Connie laughed. “You do know you’re not allowed to say that kind of thing anymore?”

“I can say what I like in my own home. And speaking of action, Milly probably met him through one of those dating apps. I’ve been reading about those. I wondered if I might try it myself. I’ll ask Zoe to take a good photograph of me. I can pass for seventy-five on a good day with the light behind me.”

“Why do you need a photograph, Nanna Peg?” Zoe appeared in the doorway yawning, her chestnut curls tangled from sleep and her eyes still bleary.

At that moment she looked so much like Milly at the same age that Connie felt her breath catch. It was the freckles and the blue eyes and also the ready smile. Milly had always been a smiler. She’d been gentle and good-natured and an all-around daddy’s girl. Until her daddy had walked out. After that, part of her had closed off, and for a while Connie had been afraid that her daughter might be too wary of love to ever allow herself to fall for anyone, but then she’d met Richard.

Connie had liked Richard. Connie hadlovedRichard. Not anymore.

Every time she thought about him she wanted to break something.

“Nanna Peg doesn’t need a photograph. She was joking.” She opened the fridge. “What can I make you for breakfast, sweetheart? Eggs? Fruit and yogurt? I’ve squeezed you a fresh juice.”

“Whatever happened to heaped bowls of sugary cereal or a big fat bacon sandwich?” Peggy took a sip of coffee. “The problem with your generation is that all the joy has been stripped out of life. No additives, no alcohol, no red meat—the list is endless, and you take it to extremes. A little of everything was my motto. And here I am at eighty-two in a hiking group.”

“I’m thirteen,” Zoe reminded her with a grin. “I don’t drink alcohol.”

“Ignore Nanna Peg,” Connie advised. “Most people grow out of their rebellious phase in their teens, but your great-grandmother is getting worse with age. Your mum messaged to say she’s on her way.”

“Yes, she messaged me too.” Zoe dropped her schoolbag by the door and sat down at the table. “Eggs would be great, thanks, Gramma.”

“At least make them into pancakes,” Nanna Peg said and Connie sighed as she put the glass of orange juice in front of Zoe.

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