Page 107 of A Secret Escape

“And I want you to mention my book on social media,” Brendan said, “because you have more followers than I do.”

Nicole laughed and walked with Joel to the kitchen, feeling as if she was poised on the edge of something exciting. A baby, good friends and a home in a place she’d always loved. It was a million miles from her old life, but it felt exactly right. Exactly where she wanted to be.

It was a clarity of thinking that was long overdue.

Chapter28Milly

Milly sat in the café, hoping this wasn’t a mistake. She’d chosen somewhere that was neutral territory, halfway between Forest Nest and the city where Richard now lived with Avery.

She nursed the single black coffee she’d ordered on arrival, and to distract herself from what was to come, she thought about the evening before.

As requested, she’d made her lemon chicken, and Brendan had opened chilled champagne (Joel had provided a chilled elderflower mocktail for Nicole), and the four of them had sat in Joel’s pretty garden, eating, drinking, laughing, talking about everything and nothing, and breathing in the sweet smell of honeysuckle until the sun dipped behind the fells.

Milly had noticed that Joel had kept calling NicoleWendy, but when she’d asked about it they’d both smiled and said it was a private joke, and Milly had suppressed her curiosity because she was just pleased to see Nicole relaxed and happy and confident enough to share a private joke with someone who wasn’t her.

Milly and Nicole had been friends forever, of course, but by the end of the evening it had felt as if the four of them were a unit.As Milly watched Joel place his arm protectively onto the back of Nicole’s chair, she’d been sure of it.

And a few hours ago Nicole had messaged her to give her the time of the doctor’s appointment she’d arranged so that Milly could meet her there. She said that Joel had offered to go with her (earning him major plus points), but she really wanted Milly, and Milly was so excited at being part of Nicole’s baby journey that she’d agreed instantly.

And then there was Brendan . . .

“Milly?” Richard’s voice made her jump, and she almost spilled her coffee.

“Sorry. I didn’t see you arrive. I was thinking about something.”

“Something good, judging from the smile on your face.” He sat down opposite her. “I was surprised to get your message. I didn’t think you’d ever speak to me again after the other night.”

She didn’t know quite what reaction she’d expected from him, but it wasn’t that.

“What? You think I don’t know when I’ve been an idiot?” He put his phone and car keys down on the table. “I have a lot to apologize for, so do you want to go first or shall I?”

“You—you want to apologize?”

“Wantto apologize?” Richard gave a faint smile. “No. I hate admitting I’m wrong, you know that. But do I need to? Yes. But first I need coffee. Can I get you another?”

She hadn’t finished the one sitting in front of her, but she nodded, mute, and he stood up and ordered at the counter and then sat back down again.

“I suppose I should start with the other night. I didn’t expect to see Nicole. It was a shock. And I know that doesn’t excuse anything—” he lifted a hand before she could say anything “—but it brought back a lot of emotions, stresses—”

“Because she confronted you and made you choose.”

“No. Well, yes, I suppose there’s some of that in there, but mostly because I felt terrible at the time, and seeing her brought it all back.”

“You felt terrible?”

“Yes. I already felt terrible about what I was doing, and she made me feel worse, and rightly so. I behaved badly. And I knew it. I was conflicted.” He paused while their coffees were delivered. “I loved you, Milly. Maybe you don’t believe that, but I did. I loved our life. I didn’t intentionally look for anyone else. But when I met Avery at those yoga classes . . .” He shook his head. “I don’t know. It just felt—it was powerful.”

Milly never would have thought she could have sat still and listened to him talk like this, but here she was, listening, and it didn’t feel as hard as she’d thought it would. Something had changed. She’d changed.

“So you cheated on me.”

“And I regret that every day.” His cheeks were flushed. “I should have done the brave thing and told you right away that I was having doubts, that I’d met someone. Maybe we could have worked it through. I don’t know.”

Milly sighed. “Richard, this is history now—”

“Not really, because it’s always between us. In every conversation you’re hurt and punishing me, and I’m defensive and snappy and behaving like an idiot because I’m eaten up with guilt.”

Was she punishing him? Yes, she probably was.

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